I think the chapter was fine. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru too, though the latter was a little bit sadistic :D
I'm really sorry about the double review. My computer/internet connection/browser is being wonky ( I don't know which one it is...yet) Anyways I'll just finish up my review for you then...
Instead, he had allowed her to do as she wished and allow the entire pack had come for the trip. Why had he allowed her to do as she wished again?
He did not like such a look on her visage. Such a look should only belong on his face
*Use of the same word/phrase over again; try to switch it up
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""and then bowed, mockingly to Sesshoumaru.:
*No comma
And that's it. I'm kind of glad to continue to see Akemi in the future, but I'm wondering how it will work when Inuyasha is actually awake. Also, the only thing that made me think twice was the timing of this chapter and chapter 9. Like when Kagome left and sesshoumaru showed up in chapter 9 and then when Kagome left and sesshoumaru showed up in chapter 10, I just kept thinking of whether or not they would have had the same time scales. This seems really confusing. Mostly in chapter 9 it seemed like a matter of minutes after Kagome left sesshoumaru showed up. But in chapter 10, Kagome would have had to walk through the woods, meet up with them and then the conversation with Sesshoumaru. But then I really think about it and then I start thinking that it actually could match up. So I don't really know why I'm telling you this. Maybe it's just so that you know? I don't know.
If anything you could work on, it might have been just me, but Shippou seems just a little too immature. He seems like when they first found him, its been a couple years since then so I just think that he wouldn't be so little-kiddish; he would know what was going on (maybe)
And that's it. lol Great chapter by the by, can't wait so see more.
Thanks for asking. I’m fine,” said Kagome, wearily
Kagome walked towards the tree stump, and sat down.
Kagome embraced her, with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes
*No comma
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Oblivion or Intention
This was a little confusing. Mostly because oblivion is a state of being while, intention isn't, it's more of an action. I don't think I understand what you are trying to compare either so I can't really help you come up with a solution yet. First solidify what you are comparing. Is it Kagome's knowing of the situation versus ignorance of the situation; or is it Inuyasha's purposeful betrayls versus his uncontrolable situation he's in now? Those were the two situations that I could think of that the statement would refer to
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Ah-un chewed forest leaves placidly.
*Capitalized
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She wanted to cry so much and couldn’t.
*I'd suggest changing this to "but couldn't" because it contrasts the two phrases.
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“This farce will end soon.” He said, coldly.
*When I first read it, this statement confused me. I thought he was referring to Kagome holding back her feelings and not letting herself cry. That her current state she was portraying was a farce. But then that didn't make sense because, well, how would he know that much about her, impossible. Anyways, during the second read through it finally clicked! He was referring to Inuyasha. Anyways, I'm not sure if I was just an idiot and just didn't get it the first time or if its actually difficult to understand what he's refering too. But , I figured I'd tell you what I got caught up on just in case you deem it worthy enough to change or edit.
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She felt a little envious. He seemed so distant and unreachable.
She wanted to be untouchable too
*I really liked this sequence of sentences. I can't really say why, it just pulls me in and makes Kagome feel more emotionly drained then she started out as. Also, it's a really good scene changer.
I sort of like Akemi, but I hate her too. She's too youkai, let's say. I wonder how things worked with her, if her family is alive :/ Kagome, I believe she's acting like she would, Sango and Miroku too, and kids. They are all fine... Sesshomaru, I imagine he must be frustrated... with all that's going on :)
Hmn... Akemi is strangely strong.
Uh oh
Oh, Kami! O///O what did they find?
... good luck finding Inuyasha!
lol! I am amused and proud of him! That seemed to be very hard to do! BUT BUT ... I'll be back kater :D
Thanks for writing!
I agree with Sango and Miroku. Also, Kirara is so smart!
Ehrm... yes, that MAY be the problem, Rin. >_>
O_O Oh, Kami! >_< Here I said, "Just one before getting ready for work..." But nooo! One more!
T_T This was just so sad and complicated. I swear...my chest hurt when I was reading what problems they had now. It was like, "Nooo! They are just totally not meant to be. Fate doesn't let them!" Lol! Very good chapter!
Keep it coming.
Part of me wants Kagome to knock Akemi upside her head for pretty much raping Inuyasha. Another part of me wants to see Inuyasha give her a tongue lashing for what she did to him. And yet, another part wants to see Sesshomaru rip her head off. I don't care how legendary Shiranui is or how close he was to Inupapa. I wonder what he'll think about all this if he makes an appearance. I want more!
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