You use way too many unnecessary commas. Your story is great though.
Late but great, keep it coming. Happy Easter!
GHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rhonda (Chapter 1) - Sun 20 Apr 2014
LOVE THIS!!!
Looking so forward to more...
This story sounds interesting, keep it coming. Happy Belated Valentine's Day!
Jessica (Chapter 1) - Fri 14 Mar 2014
This is incredible. You are an incrdible writer. I love it alot. Please post the next chap. really soon or I mught die of sadness. This is one of the best fanfics I have read in so long.
xDori (Chapter 1) - Fri 14 Mar 2014
Looks good! Nice first chapter with the background of his hate. Looking forward to more!
Mimiru (Chapter 1) - Fri 14 Mar 2014
I love it! and i thought your english was good, can't tell that you speak another language if you didnt tell us. I reallt cant wait for more of this!!
Mimiru (Chapter 1) - Fri 14 Mar 2014
I love it! and i thought your english was good, can't tell that you speak another language if you didnt tell us. I reallt cant wait for more of this!!
Rhonda (Chapter 1) - Fri 14 Mar 2014
Really like this and looking forward to more!
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