Beautification by Kirai

Beautification

Ok i have a couple of people to thank for the creation and completion of this. First I must thank my Green Twin Tangy!! You inspired this fic and are the reason i am attempting a high place on LGP's Hit List. You are the Worther's Original of my life. Next i would like to thank Walter, Elisa and Dany for letting me use you in this fic. Finally I would like to thank Ikaru for betaing this because I was anxious and wanted to get it out there to be enjoyed.

Anyways this is my very first crackfic attempt ever! I hope you enjoy it and feel free to let me know how i did and if you think me and Tangy would make the Hit List after everything we do to him.

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NO CHARACTERS EXCEPT KIRAI!!! THAT IS ALL T-T My dreams were shattered

~*~

“I can see the target.” crackled the walkie talkie Kirai was holding. She was seated on a bench in the park of Dokuga.

Kirai looked over her shoulder. “Roger, Tangy. Smexy is in sight.”

Time to meet up with her twin. Her brown hair was streaked with green and her blue eyes were hidden behind her glasses. Her leather costume was skimpier than she had worn in a while and she loved it. Kirai couldn’t wait. Oh what plans they had.

She glanced around the grounds of Dokuga and loved what she saw. Dokugians were everywhere. Some were trying to fight off the ebil plot bunnehs that lived here. Those furry, red-eyed things could be a pain. She shook her head and sidestepped a newbie running from a plunneh. Smexy, meanwhile, was sneaking quietly through the street, his long hair hidden beneath a baseball cap and sunglasses covering his eyes. Besides everyone knew that a baseball cap and sunglasses were the best disguise ever.

“Where’d he go Tang?” Kirai asked as she approached. Tangy was wearing her bear costume today complete with ears. Her hair was short and blond, streaked with green. (They were after all green twins) She was wearing slightly huge lavendery glasses.

“Hey twin!” TangerineDream (AKA Tangy) greeted enthusiastically. She was so adorable in her bear ears that Kirai wanted to huggle her. “Smexy is moving just as we thought he would be.”

Smexy, as Kirai and Tangy referred to him, was Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru was their obsession. Well theirs and everyone else’s in Dokuga. He was dating Kagome, but that was unimportant. The twins had plans for Sesshomaru. As much as they loved him, he was a little high strung and tended to glare at Dokugians earning him the nickname Lord Grumpy Pants. The twins had decided he just needed a make over. Beautification would cheer him up. They were sure of it.

“So he is heading to the ice cream parlour?”

Tangy nodded her head. “Infiltration?”

Kirai nodded. “Do the honours?”

Tangy jumped at the chance. Time to work her mischief. Tangy wasted no time leaving Kirai to get the getaway vehicle and ran to the back door of the ice cream parlour. She snuck in and lay in wait for the clerk.

What luck! It was Walter. Tangy hadn’t known he was working here. This could be a problem, he might like what she had planned for him a little too much, oh well.

“Hey Walter!” she called loudly.

Walter saw Tangy seconds before invisible indestructible streamers came rushing at him. He was bound in seconds and suspended in the air above Tangy. Tangy grinned at Walter. He was upside down and tied up.

“What the--Tangy!”

“Heehee. Have fun Walter!” Tangy sent the invisible indestructible streamers to gag him. After all she couldn’t let him make noises now could she? That would just alert Smexy. “Should I put you in the freezer? Nah!” Tangy loosened the streamers a little to take the apron Walter was wearing off.

She wrapped the apron around her bear suit and plastered a smile onto her face. Fun time! Carrying the cones with her Tangy walked out to greet Sesshomaru AKA Smexy as though she had always been working here. Lucky for her the place was empty except for Smexy.

Sesshomaru was tapping his foot in irritation. He had been waiting for service and had yet to receive any. He was getting anxious. He didn’t like anything cutting into his ice cream time. “You are not the man who was here before.” he stated coldly.

“Nope! I’m a girl. Walter is…hanging out in the back. What can I get for you?”

Sesshomaru gave her a pointed look, like she should know that he wanted ice cream. And wanted it now.

“Kibble flavoured ice cream it is!” Tangy said cheerfully. Everyone in Dokuga knew he had a weakness for the stuff. She bent over to scoop out some of the ice cream onto a waffle cone, bits of kibbles fell out of the treat and back into the tub.

She took the cone over to the cherry station. Slipping a vial out of her bear costume sleeve, Tangy poured the tasteless liquid over the ice cream carefully so that Sesshomaru wouldn’t see her. She topped it with a cherry. “Here you go! One Kibble Kone with a cherry!”

Sesshomaru accepted the ice cream with a glare towards Tangy. She was smiling a little too much. Warily he walked away from the parlour.

It was too bad he loved Kibble Kones. Unfortunately this was the only place he could get them. He had to brave the fanaticism of these Dokugians every single time his craving hit him. But it was a small price to pay in order to have one of these. He bit into the cone, too eager to wait and lick it. NO! He could taste it! She tricked him!

“Kirai! I got him!” Tangy called into her walkie talkie as Sesshomaru fell unconscious to the ground.

“Yay!!” came Kirai’s ecstatic response. “I’m coming in now!”

Tangy ditched the apron and opened the front door to look for Kirai, who came roaring up with a hovering motorboat. Her twin jumped out of the boat and grinned. “Nice job Tangy! Let’s get him to the base!” Between the two of them they got the dead weight that was Sesshomaru into the back of their hovering boat.

“How’d you get rid of the worker?” asked Kirai as they were on the way. Tangy had kicked her out of the driver’s seat.

“It was Walter.”

Kirai came to attention. “You’re kidding! What was he doing working at the ice cream place?”

“I didn’t ask. I was too busy tying him up and leaving him hanging.” Tangy laughing ebily.

“Bet he loved that.”

“I gagged him too.”

“I wonder if we should be scared that Walter works there.“ Kirai bit her bottom lip. “He likes crazy stuff for food. Imagine the ice cream he creates!”

The twins both grimaces as bad, bad images reached their minds. The boat came to a halt. “MINDBLEACH!” they cried as one.

Fifteen minutes later they managed to bleach their minds as thoroughly as they could of the bad, bad things they were sure Walter was making for ice cream. Finally able to think somewhat more clearly, the pair took off again with their precious, precious cargo drooling in the back.

“Kirai do you have the shopping list?” Tangy asked as she recklessly dodged another of the flying motorboats.

“I think so.” She slid her hands over the pockets of her outfit, looking for the slip of paper she had scribbled the shopping list on. “Um…I did. Where did I put it??” Kirai began to pull everything out of the pockets of her leather clothes, throwing the items onto the ground.

After extracting a rubber chicken, a dictionary and pair of red heels. Kirai screeched as an errant plot bunneh bit her finger. “How the hell did that get in my pocket?!” she cried trying to fling the bunneh off of her.

“KIRAI!” Tangy let go of the wheel to pull at the plot bunneh attacking her twin. She managed to rip the thing away and fling it overboard. “ Are you ok twin?”

There was a glazed look in Kirai’s eyes, almost like she was in shock. “I…I…” she stuttered. Shaking her head she looked with clear eyes at Tangy. “I’m fine. I don’t think we are going to need that list though.” An ebil grin spread across her face.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I just need some anti-venom. Drop me off at Elisa’s and stash Smexy at the base. I’ll get everything we need.”

“Be safe!” Tangy called out after her twin as she headed off. “Or else!”

~*~

“ELISA!!” Kirai ran into the shop that Elisa ran. It was the most well known shop in all of Dokuga for offering items to use against Sesshomaru in any setting. If you needed anything at all. Elisa could provide it. From wigs and makeup to handcuffs and duct tape to diapers and rattles, the shop had it all.

“Kirai.” greeted the amazingly awesome and preggo Elisa, thought she wasn’t showing just quite yet. She was dressed as a cave woman, furry cloth hung jaggedly on her body. Her brown hair was teased up and tied around a bone. Elisa rocked.

“I love that outfit Elisa babe!” commented Kirai as she gave her friend a quick once over.

“This little thing?”

“Smexy Cavewoman.” nodded Kirai.

“What can I do for you today, sweetie?” asked Elisa resting her hands on the not-yet-showing baby bump.

Kirai’s eyes lurked over the shelves with tin foil and honey. No! Those were for another time. The plunneh venom was making her want to get the stuff and use it anyways.

“Well I need plunneh anti-venom first and foremost.” She waggled her plunneh bit finger. “Then me and Tangy need a beauty kit.”

Elisa had a concerned look on her face as she examined Kirai’s finger. “How’d you get bit?”

“It was in my pocket.” admitted Kirai sheepishly.

“Naughty!”

Kirai hung her head in shame.

Elisa smiled as she pulled out a syringe with the anti-venom. “Time for your medicine.” she told Kirai in her momma voice.

Kirai cringed. A shot? A shot? NO! She tried to bolt, but Elisa was there and gave her the shot, injecting the anti-venom into her. “Ouch!” Tears spilled out of Kirai’s eyes. She hated shots.

“You shouldn’t have run.” Elisa told her and adjusted the bone in her hair. “Now you did say a beauty kit, right?”

Kirai nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Tangy wants permanent markers, nails and a moustache. I want scissors, super glue, and some fishnet clothes.”

Elisa nodded as she grabbed the items Kirai counted off into a burlap bag. “No honey and tin foil?”

“No, sadly not. But we’ll take some fuzzy handcuffs and a camera.”

“Ah…sounds like fun.” Elisa added a few more items to the bag. “Be sure to send me before and after pics. I would love to see what you and Tang are up to.”

“Definitely. We’re gonna post them on YouTube.”

Elisa laughed as she imagined what Tangy and Kirai had planned for their unlucky target.

“Gotta run. Tangy is gonna go ballistic if I’m not there soon. You know her ‘Or else!’? it’s scary!” Kirai thanked Elisa and ran out.

~*~

“I’m back!” called out Kirai as she walked into her and Tangy’s secret base. The walls of their base were covered from floor to ceiling with smiley face bubble wrap. They had some plushie chairs, a table and an old antique chest in the room. They were still in the middle of renovations so everything was a tad messy.

“Welcome back!” Tangy was lounging on top of the chest. The chest was moving slightly under her and muffled sounds were coming out.

“Where is Smexy?” asked Kirai looking around for their captive.

Tangy blushed. “He woke up.”

Realization dawned. “So you put him in the chest?”

“No!” denied Tangy. “I tied him with my streamers first.”

The two of them burst out laughing at the same time. “Come on, leave him for a minute and help me get this ready for him.”

Kirai motioned to the table where they planned to strap Smexy down on so he could not escape…resist their beautifying of him. They swept off all items they had on top of it (from a previous beautification ) and now the table was empty.

“I got the handcuffs.” she beamed pulling the fuzzy leopard with purple trim cuffs out of the burlap sack.

“Sweet, this will be the best beautification ever!”

Kirai opened the burlap sack and showed her twin exactly what that plunneh had made her do. Poor Smexy. “I don’t think Elisa gave me the anti-venom soon enough.”

“That’s ok. I don’t think you needed it anyways.” commented Tangy as she rooted around in the sack. “OMG, oh my god! This is absolutely perfect!” Tangy extracted the bright, permanent, neon pink sharpie marker and a razor.

“I think we should begin the beautification process.” grinned Kirai. “Ready?”

“Yeppers! He should still be groggy.”

The twins cautiously opened the antique chest and saw Smexy. He did look groggy, and funny. The invisible indestructible streamers were tight against his body making his clothes and hair stick out between the streamers. Kirai and Tangy both erupted into a fit of giggles.

“Let’s handcuff him!” said Tangy holding up the cuffs. The look in Sesshomaru’s eyes made their day.

~*~

He was chained to a table! Sesshomaru couldn’t believe what was going on. He had only wanted a Kibble Kone and now he had been kidnapped by these crazy Dokugians and was strapped to a table by those damn invisible indestructible streamers.

The two Dokugians who had kidnapped him were truly insane. They both had green streaked hair and a maniacal look to them. Normally he would have killed these two by now and had his revenge, but Kagome had been on his case about the whole killing others thing and would be in the proverbial doghouse should he attempt such a thing. And these damn streamers were hard to break. He wasn’t quite sure that he could if he tried.

“What should we start with?” asked the one in a skimpy leather outfit. She was rooting around in a burlap sack.

“This!” The green-streaked blonde in the bear costume said. She was holding up a razor? Just what did these Dokugians have planned?

“Go for it Tangy!” cheered the leather one.

Tangy, the bear costumed one, advanced with that razor in her hands. “This won’t hurt a bit, Smexy.” promised Tangy.

What was she doing? NO! Sesshomaru would have screamed if he could have, unfortunately he was gagged. Tangy shaved his eyebrows.

“See? That was painless.” Sesshomaru’s eyes bespoke of the horror of having his eyebrows shaved off. “Ok, it was painless for me. I didn’t feel a thing.” Sesshomaru made some muffled sounds of anger and protest, struggling against the streamer and getting absolutely no where.

“Want this one?” asked the one with the burlap sack, holding a…pink…marker out to Tangy.

“Yeah! Kirai you read my mind.” Tangy swiped the marker out of her twin’s hand and went back to Smexy. “I guess it isn’t fair to take away your eyebrows. I’m just going to have to replace them.”

She wouldn’t! though Sesshomaru seconds before Tangy applied the bright neon pink sharpie to the area where his eyebrows had once been. “There this should work for now. Wait.” Tangy looked down at the sharpie marker and winced. “Oh…for completely permanent, never coming off use.” she read off the marker. “Oh well.”

“Did you forget to read the label again Tangy?” asked Kirai, she was holding another two sharpie markers. “These don’t come off.”

“I forgot. Besides, its not that bad. Who wouldn’t want neon pink eyebrows?”

Kirai laughed. “Time for phase two.” she handed her twin another marker.

NO! screamed Sesshomaru in his mind as the two opened their markers and bent over him. Five minutes later he was chanting in his head for deliverance. They had taken those marker and made all, and he meant ALL of his stripes into arrows.

“He’s our own personal airbender!” Tangy was bouncing up and down cheering. “Airbender! Airbender!”

“Not yet he isn’t Tangy! He need to be bald.” pointed out Kirai holding up scissors and the razor.

“Bald?” Tangy seemed uncertain.

“Yeppers. Aang is bald. Besides, we can make Sesshomaru wigs out of this hair!”

“Ooh! Let’s do it!”

Bald? Bald? BALD? Sesshomaru tried harder and harder to get away from these crazies. They were going to shave his head. He liked his hair.

“Keep moving like that and you will just make it worse! We may nick your skin.” warned Kirai as she cut off his long locks as close to the scalp as she could. “That would be tragic.” She wiped a tear away from her eyes.

“Don’t wanna do that now do we.” said Tangy shaving the remaining hair off his head.

“Its soo silky!” Kirai was rubbing some of his sheared locks against her cheek and snuggling it. “Feel it!” She pressed the hair to her twin’s cheek. Sesshomaru shut his eyes. He couldn’t take it.

“It is!”

The twins took their time to put an intricate arrow onto the top of his head, just like Aang. “Me likey.” the twins said in unison.

Kirai bent over to pull something out of the burlap sack. “I feel bad, Tangy! We’ve taken too much hair off him.” she sounded emotional. “We should give him something.”

“True.”

Kirai hid her hands behind her back as she approached the Smexy. “Now don’t move a muscle.” she told Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru was too horrified to move. His hair was gone…gone. Wait, what was that? Why did his upper lip feel cold and fuzzy? He opened his eyes and looked down. There was something dead and black on his upper lip. What was that?

“Aww he looks soo cute with a French moustache!” Kirai gushed, putting the cap back on the…super glue?? in her hands.

She super glued a moustache to his face? She…she…. Sesshomaru didn’t know what to think. This was hell.

“Ooh! So manly!” Tangy was at his feet with something in her hands she had taken off his shoes and was touching his feet. “He looks so pretty, he’s missing a mani/pedi.”

“What kinds of nails are you going to give him?” asked Kirai coming to look at the fake nails her twin was holding.

“I special ordered these from Elisa. It’s us!” She held up the fake nails for Kirai to look at. “See, I got her to put a picture of us on the nails.”

“Yay! Now he will never forget us!”

They thought putting nails with their faces on it would make him never forget them? Were they really for real? He was never going to forget them period. And whenever he thought of them he was sure to hide behind Kagome.

“They are going to look amazing.” Tangy said, gluing the nails onto Sesshomaru’s feet.

“Hold on we need to claim him!” Kirai pulled out one of the permanent markers, this one green and proceeded to write her name on the bottom of his right foot in block letters. “You’re turn!”

Tangy grinned as she signed her name to the bottom of Sesshomaru’s left foot. “Now everyone will know he is no longer available.”

“Uh huh.”

They claimed him? What else could they do to him. Sesshomaru had stopped trying to break the invisible streamers that held him in place. He was just laying there letting them ‘beautify him’. All the while plotting his revenge.

“What else can we do to beautify him?” wondered Kirai aloud. She had her hand in that burlap sack again. This will work!! Tangy, tie his feet to the table. We need to strip his pants off!”

“Pants? Off?” Tangy got a far off look in her eye. Kirai knew she was day dreaming about Smexy pantless, now if she hurried up it wouldn’t be a daydream, it would be a reality.

“He’s struggling again!” pointed out Tangy with a pout.

Kirai thought about it for a moment. “He needs pie!”

“Ooh!! Pie!”

Pie? They were going to feed him pie? That could not be as innocent as they made it seem. Sesshomaru wanted began struggling even more.

Kirai pulled a whistle out of one of her pockets and blew on it. “This is not good, the Smexy is gonna hurt himself.”

Sesshomaru glared at the pair with as much hatred as he could. He wanted them to feel his desire for revenge. He wanted them to be afraid of what he was going to do to them when he got free. He wanted out!

A door opened somewhere behind him and he could see a shaft of sunlight. Then he heard the pattering of small feet. What the--?

“Ah! Franz! Klaus! Miguel!” Kirai called out affectionately. “You brought me the pie.” She sounded as though she was going to tear up and cry.

“What kind of pie did they bring?” asked Tangy is seemed she was done with his toenails.

“Nothing special.” shrugged Kirai. “Boys, would you care to feed a slice of this delicious smelling pie to our friend here. Be careful, he may bite.”

Sesshomaru heard a squeak and then more shuffling of little feet. His mind froze as he saw the weirdest thing. Three small chipmunks dressed in suits were carrying a pie slice and advancing towards him. Chipmunks? Why were there chipmunks?

The chipmunks squeaked to themselves in what he had a sick feeling was their own language. One climbed on top of him and released the streamer that was gagging him.

“How dare you!” said Sesshomaru to the twins the moment he could get anything out. “Get these rodents away from me. Release me!”

“Don’t you dare call them rodents!” protested Kirai “They are slaves…I mean indentured servants.”

“Don’t you want pie?” asked Tangy, she was currently gluing more of those ridiculous fake nails onto his hands.

“Of course he does. Everyone wants pie.” answered Kirai for him.

“Release me!”

“Boys!”

The chipmunks squeaked to themselves and immediately tried to shove a piece of pie down him throat. Sesshomaru shut his mouth and clenched his teeth. He did not want pie. He wanted to be released. The damn chipmunks had other ideas however and bit him on the ear and nose until he opened his mouth. The third chipmunk shoved the pie forcibly into his mouth and covered it so he had to swallow. Between the three chipmunks, Sesshomaru was forced to eat a piece of pie.

It was a good pie. It was light and flavourful. The chipmunks replaced the gag on him mouth and jumped to the ground. The left in much the same way they had shown up, with the pitter patter of little feet.

“So Kirai, what kind of pie was that?”

“Sleeping Pill Pie. Like I said nothing special.” shrugged Kirai who had her hand in that bag again

“Sleeping Pill Pie?”

“It’s a new recipe I’ve been making the chipmunks work on.”

Tangy was laughing so hard she dropped the nail kit onto the ground. She didn’t need it anymore anyway. She had managed to finish his mani/pedi already. When she sobered from laughing she asked “How long until he passes out?”

Kirai pulled a watch out of one of her pockets and looked at it. “A minute I think. There were a lot of sleeping pills in that pie.”

“So when he passes out we take off his pants?”

“Yep.”

Sesshomaru knew what they were saying, but it was distorted and far away. He could feel his eyes closing, having grown heavy and unresponsive. They had drugged him again! They…they…th…

Kirai and Tangy jumped on him the moment his eyes were closed. Together they ripped his pants off and replaced them with rainbowed fishnet stocking and green see-through genie pants.

“CAMERA!!” yelled Kirai suddenly remembering the camera she had gotten from Elisa. She reached into one of her pockets and pulled out the camera. “We need pictures! Smile Tangy!” Kirai waited until her twin posed on top of Sesshomaru’s unconscious body and snapped a picture of her.

“This is one for the wall!” proclaimed Kirai showing Tangy the picture.

“We’re not done beautifying yet. We need to finish and take more pictures.”

“Or…we take pictures of us beautifying him!”

“Yus!!”

~*~

Sesshomaru was unaware of where he was. He felt like he was floating. For a time he thought he was in the middle of a thunderstorm, flashes of light and cackling thunder plagued his ears. Then there was silence. Oh blessed silence. He was floating, floating and coming closer and closer to the surface. It was soo warm and comfortable.

It was a dream. He thought in his semi-conscious state. Everything. When he opened his eyes he was going to be in bed wrapped around Kagome with a full head of hair.

But he felt lethargic, strangely lethargic, like one feels after taking a sleeping pill. A strange, heavy unable to fully awake feeling. Sesshomaru pried his eyes open and nearly screamed. He wasn’t home in bed! He was in the middle of a park!

Sesshomaru tried to move but couldn’t. He looked down at his hand and saw the fuzzy, leopard with purple trim handcuffs chaining him to a lamp post. Lamp post…he was still groggy from the sleeping pills. Those damn Dokugians! They did this to him and if he wasn’t mistaken he was still at Dokuga. It was late afternoon and the sun was fading from the sky.

Sesshomaru didn’t know what to do. He was chained to a lamp post and wearing…what the hell was he wearing? Sesshomaru looked down in horror at the blindly yellow fishnet top he was wearing, it stopped above his navel for crying out loud. A green boa hung off one of his shoulders falling to the ground. And his pants? They looked like something out of that Disney movie Aladdin He shifted his feet and tripped falling down to the ground. No! On his feet were a pair of 3 inch red high heels.

“Excuse me?” came a female voice from nearby.

Sesshomaru turned to see another Dokugian. This one was a little older than the ones who had kidnapped him and done all this…this…this to him. She had salt and pepper hair with brown eyes that peeked out through the glasses she wore. Unlike the leather Dokugian from earlier, this one was dressed sexily in skimpy, skimpy clothes and wore a police badge and hat. A name tag proclaimed her as Officer Dany. She had a belt that hung loosely on her waist with weird things poking out of it. Including a baton that had the word DOOM etched on it.

“May I ask what you are doing here?”

Sesshomaru tried to talk but his tongue felt like cotton.

“If you don’t answer me I’ll boot you out of here!” she promised him. Though she didn’t look threatening, Sesshomaru knew that she would kick his ass if she didn’t get what she wanted. Oh great what a perfect end to his day.

“I need to get free.” he managed weakly through the cotton in his mouth.

“Free?” Officer Dany looked him up and down before asking. “Who are you?”

“Sesshomaru.” he answered weakly, his cheeks flaming with embarrassment. How many all-powerful taiyoukai’s were captured by Dokugians and made over?

“Likely story!” Officer Dany narrowed eyes at him and extracted her Baton of Doom. “Everyone knows that Sesshomaru isn’t bald!”

Sesshomaru grimaced. “They took my hair!”

“Who did?”

“Those Dokugians!”

Officer Dany laughed. “Which ones?”

“Tangy and Kirai.”

Officer Dany looked away from him and turned around. He could tell just from the way her body shook that she was laughing. “How did they get you?” she asked when she managed to stop laughing.

Sesshomaru mumbles his answer. He didn’t like it getting out that he enjoyed the Kibble Kones.

“I didn’t hear that. Speak up.”

“I was getting an ice cream.”

“That explains why I found Walter hanging upside down in the back of that place.” said Dany softly. Though he was enjoying being tied up a little too much.

“Will you release me?”

“Yes. However, as a police officer, I must escort you home.” Office Dany told him.

“NO!” protested Sesshomaru immediately. He didn’t want to face Kagome looking like this. Let alone escorted by a police officer.

Officer Dany palmed her Baton of DOOM and gave him a look that said either-I-escort-you-or-you-stay-here. “Wanna rephrase that?”

Sesshomaru shook his head. “Just…just take me home.”

Dany waved her Baton of DOOM and the fuzzy handcuffs fell off of Sesshomaru’s wrists. She bent over and retrieved them, hooking them onto her belt for later. She waited until Sesshomaru stood before gesturing to his missing heel. “You might want to put that back on. Someone broke a lot of glass around this area. You’ll cut your feet.”

Sesshomaru saw the glass and debated a moment whether it was worth it to walk home with bloody feet and face Kagome or wear the shoes and face Kagome. He chose bloody feet. Office Dany was another matter and made him put the heels on.

~*~

Sesshomaru stood with Officer Dany on the porch to his home with Kagome like he was a teenager she had found doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. Dany rang the bell and waited. She had one hand on Sesshomaru’s arm to keep him from running away.

Kagome answered the door took one look at her boyfriend and laughed. “I thought that was just a prank!” she gasped out between her laughs.

“Not funny.” grumbled Sesshomaru looking away from his girlfriend.

“Kagome, we found him in the park. It seems he met up with Kirai and Tangy.”

“I know.” she told Dany.

“How do you know, woman?” demanded Sesshomaru indignantly. He didn’t want anyone to know about his disgrace. It was bad enough he knew.

“Come on in. I’ll show you.” Kagome opened the door and waited for Sesshomaru and Dany to go to the living room. She saw her boyfriend stumble on the red heels out of the corner of her eye and had to stifle another laugh.

Officer Dany left Sesshomaru to pick himself up. Kagome came back into the room a moment later with a large manila envelope. “This got delivered here about an hour ago by two Dokugians with green streaked hair.”

Sesshomaru stiffened at the mention of his unholy captors. Kagome handed Dany the envelope. Dany opened it and pulled out the first sheet of paper. It was a note that said You’re Welcome!! in bright green letters.

Inside were pictures of Tangy and Kirai all over Sesshomaru who was tied to a table. In one they were holding the feet where they had claimed Sesshomaru. In another there was a close up on Sesshomaru’s bald head and neon pink eyebrows and airbender arrows. There were pictures of them stripping Sesshomaru and putting the fishnets on him. There was even one with them sitting on him eating pie with those dasmn chipmunks nearby.

Sesshomaru was unaware that he was growling until Kagome told him to stop. “When…are…you…arresting…them?” he bit out through his clenched teeth.

Officer Dany gave him a confused look. “Why would I arrest them?”

“They...they…”

Officer Dany laughed as he tried to speak. “They were just having a little fun. Besides they forgot the nipple piercings or…other piercings.” Dany gave him a pointed look, suggesting something more. “I’m gonna have to remind them not to forget them next time. ”

Sesshomaru was speechless as Officer Dany said goodnight and left. She wasn’t going to do anything. She was just going to let this travesty go. Even Kagome was laughing at him. He was growling again. He tossed the stupid red heels onto the ground of the floor and stalked off to his room. Inside he bent under his bed to extract a notebook. He opened the book and at the top of each page were the words Hit List he quickly scribbled the names Tangy and Kirai and closed the book firmly. Plotting his revenge. Oh revenge would be oh so sweet.

~*~

FIN