aw, i hope so too, nice story, kinda remindes me of all the things we truelly desire but can never have. that is indeed sad. thanks for the story.
Awwwwe~ *squirms and wobbles in joy and love* Thank you soooooo much for the lovely dedication, my darling! I am really honored you took the time and effort to write a story dedicated to me, unworthy me!! Thank you, thank you :) It's a little dream come true, for I've always wanted to see what would subsequently branch out from sunrise. And now, lo and behold, I have it! ;) It's the best gift for my little bit of good news, which you already know about :) :) :)
This oneshot got off to a very intriguing and lonely start, when she found herself all naked, alone and vulnerable in her own bed at that weird timing. It says a lot about the fic's plot, since I have no idea what to expect. It is nothing I've read before, so all I can do was to brace myself and hold on tight for the ride. Poor Kagome, she sounds so sad here, and I have a very strong feeling that it has something to do with dear ol' Sesshy.
The front part was almost difficult to read with how sad it was, especially since poor Kagome seems so stuck in her rut, unable to move forward or pull herself out of this mess which she had sort of willingly jumped into. But still, of course, Sesshoumaru is being a class A cow to her with how cruel he is, and taking so much from her but never giving in return. She is his toy to play with and ditch whenever he feels like it, but a part of me is insisting that I should hold on to the faith that Sesshoumaru has his reasons for being so cruel to this lovely girl here!
I loved and disliked the flashback conversation because it was perfectly executed and brought this...strange, shivering feeling all over me. Like, it just felt so lonely and sad, and I kept wishing in my heart that Sesshoumaru would turn around and give her a hug or reassure her in some way! But alas, he didn't, and it was just so sad when she kept asking but he just kept avoiding and giving her evasive answers. :( SAD FACE x 100000000. The "I can't be one of them" when she referred to his priorities broke my heart.
I have no idea if you were basing Kagome's characterization off a more Western-centric writing style or not, but you actually captured the submissive Japanese girl side to her excellently in this story! I mean, we are shoujo manga readers, and in Japanese couples' relationships, it's really not a rare thing for the girl to call and apologize to the man first. Well done on that, Maddie! She's not being useless, she's merely being very protective of what she has and is unwilling to lose that. For that, I enjoyed seeing this part of Kagome even though the general first impression would be, "why is she still bothering with this man??" You did excellently. And she even asked for his shirt. Poor girl.
By now, it is getting fairly clear to the readers that the relationship is clearly not a very functional one. But then again, is a non-functional relationship a bad one in any way? Not in my opinion, actually. It's still love, and I think it's even more romantic than love which comes easily without obstacles. It's precisely because they are hanging on despite how 'wrong' and 'not meant to be' they are, that you know how much this relationship means to the two of them! If it meant nothing, neither would have bothered to hang in there to keep this 'mistake' going, right? :) It's so beautiful; a forbidden love. It was what drew me to SessKag in the first place, and I like the idea of it. Brings back so many memories:)
Oh dear.
Then we switched to Sesshoumaru's POV, and I think my heart broke for the second time. It's so painful to know why he couldn't be with Kagome like a regular couple, and it is because he already is part of a couple, but with a different woman. It is an unhappy marriage, but he cannot escape it because of his daughter. So it was him who approached her in the first place...hmmm...which makes it even more sad, because it was he who lost the battle to his own rationality in the first place. I am totally sucking the angst up because I just love to torture myself by reading these sad stuff, and it is really getting to me!
So Kagome had tried to reject in the first place, which is nice because...well, being a normal human being, it's kinda hard to accept at the first time, right? She was being strong and rational, but...Sesshoumaru is too charming to be left alone. Did I tell you that I LOVED the age difference too??? OMG I totally lurrrrrve forbidden love with crazy age differences!! It totally is what I LOVE. I like playing around with the numbers, and you totally did it! Wayyyy older man x younger girl is nice. When they are say, almost forty and eighteen. Not like 80 and 18 though. That's just...disturbing. *shudders*
Anyway, I've digressed. Now, back to the story. Poor Sesshoumaru...*huggles pillow* It must have hurt extra for him!! Because he is unable to voice the pain of either side out - he can't tell Kagome about his unhappy marriage and neither can he tell anyone else about Kagome's existence, so the poor guy is just being sandwiched between the unhappiness of life in general and suffering all the time. Now that we know why he is being so cruel to Kagome, simply because he knows that he can't get rid of her himself, he is now trying to make her go away by herself. Gosh, how upsetting :( :( :( Stay strong, the two of you!!! :(
The last part was...heartwrenching as always. I was holding out for a miracle, but unfortunately, it was not to be :( Oh well, that's the harsh reality, and in a way I like it! It's just real, and yup, that's life. We cannot always get what we want, and while it's so painful, I daresay I enjoyed the ending. In a painful yet hopeful way. I wish I could be bitchy and tell Sesshoumaru that there is something known as...*whispers*...a divorce. Did I just say that?? *looks around* But okay, hang in there, Sesshoumaru and Kagome!
Thank you once again for writing this, Maddie. I adored this oneshot, and I can probably read it again and again. It's exactly what I love to read (all the angst, drama) and I enjoyed it tremendously. Merci beaucoup!!
Perfect writing, awesome story!
m. (Chapter 1) - Tue 28 Sep 2010
Beautiful yet heartbreaking... Insight to both sides of the story helps but the feminist in me is screaming at her to 'stop being so stupid, gahh.' and, 'grrr he's such a typical @s$' Lol.
great work! any chance you'd be writing a part two for her to regain control of her life and him to realize how much she means to him? ^_~ wishful thinking... lol
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