Interesting plot and beginning. Could use some editing and look at the end there seems to be an error where Kagome and Sesshoumaru are leaving and then it goes back to Sango finding Kagome at the building and more explanation of where they are. But other than that I can't wait to see more. Please let us know if you need a beta reader.
I think there is some missing text near the end of the chapter. It goes from Sesshomaru picking Kagome up in his arm to Sango suddenly being where ever Kagome has been taken to, and speaking to her as though Sesshomaru is not there.
The story itself bodes to be very interesting. It seems as though you have a strong plot planned out with a lot of action. It would be nice to see some editing.
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