Great job a very nice start to what looks to be a wonderful story. The chapter flowed nicely and I like how you have described Sesshomaru. I am looking forward to your next chapter.
Very cute story. It flowed rather nicely, decently paced and only a few mistakes I noticed. One thing though, try not to use ()'s within your story. They tend to distract the readers away from the story and can take away from an otherwise rather decent story.
Things like...
Nervous glances and blushing faces (via Kagome).
Curious gazes (via Kaede)
Amusing stares (via Sesshoumaru).
Should be avoided.
I love how you took the time to add even the smallest detail..example how the air smelt and such. My fave part of your story would have to be Sesshoumaru having the convo with his beast, it definately had me laughing. I like your work and I want/will read more of your stuff. Please keep up the good work!
lol great tension in the middle with Sesshomaru and Kagome! I found myself chuckling as I read it. Very endearing. I also really enjoyed the beginging description of kaede's home.
| | |