A promising beginning that makes me curious to learn more.  A beta could help with spelling and grammar mistakes, every writer benefits from one.  Your writing is descriptive and your story compelling.  I hope you continue it.

For a reality based piece of fiction, this has great promise. There was some punctuation and grammar issues but what stuck with me was how you went from his present state to his carefree attitude in the flashback. There is a great need for you to detail exactly what happened to cause him to go from fun to droll in such a short space of time. As a writer of RL myself, I understand how difficult it can be to adeptly portray the minutest of details from the original memory. I would suggest writing an outline before you even try to adapt it to fit Sess/Kags - it really does help. Good luck and keep writing

A decent and interesting start, though it could use a little bit of work.  Try to make sure each sentence ends in the correct puncuation, such as . , ? !, I saw some sentences that didn't have any at all.  When using a number from one to ten, always spell them out, using a 2 or something can be rather distracting and should really be spelled out.  Other than that, it's a pretty decent start and hope you continue.

One thing that kept comming to mind as I was reading this was, just what happened to Sesshoumaru to change him from the person he was in the flashback to the present one. This was rather interesting, there were a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but that is nothing a little editing won't fix. You have done a rather good job getting started. I'm not certain what is actually going on just yet, but that is a good thing. I'll look forward to more of your work in the future.

Hmm...a very strange chapter. This kinda started as reflections on the emotional unavailability of some people, and how even they themselves understand that they have problems with it but can do nothing to stop their own behavior...and then it morphed into a much more lighthearted story. I actually liked both of these, I just don't see yet how they go together. I think you are a good writer, and with more chapters, I am sure that you will be able to tie these two very different styles into each other. Great job, and good luck.