I Hate Everything About You by Chuckles

For the Ones I Love

Disclaimer: No characters or lyrics in this fic are mine.

A/N: I kind of like it. Kind of don't. I dunno. I FIGURED OUT THE CODES! Well...My reviewers figured them out and then it took me about ten minutes to be like "OH!"

I look down into her chocolate eyes, the only thing I see is anger. No more love, no more compassion, and when I wonder what took it all away I know I'm the one to blame. "So what now?!" Her voice is raised, she's trying to hurt me, I know it.

Without answering I grab my coat from the back of the chair. Could she mean it this time? Perhaps. But I know it's not true. Those three words contradict what she said fifteen minutes ago, so what do I believe? Neither.

I believe her actions. As she believes mine.

And today her actions are telling me to leave, so I will. My feet quietly shuffled across her wood floor, I can hear her heavy breathing, she's panting after yelling. My eyes are focused on the door.

I love her.

She hates me.

It's a cycle, always going, never stopping, and always switching. Some days I love her, some days, she loves me. On the best days we love each other, but there's never been a worst day. Because one of us always loves the other.

So when I walked across her cold floors, I feel no regret. It's simply not my turn, but it's not hers either. I wonder if there's anything I can say, something that'll cure the hate for the night, because today we had both had a turn. And now, with simple words it was destroyed.

There's no more sounds of her heavy breathing, meaning she's calmed down a bit. I touch the knob, my hand hooks around the door as I twist it. Her breath catches. "Stop!"

Words mean nothing to me.

I push open the door. The air of the night greets me, I'm surprised by it's cool touch. I regret not putting my coat on sooner, until my back is filled with the life of warmth. Her arms are wrapped around my waist, her face buried between my shoulder blades.

Actions mean everything.

With steady breathing her grip around me tightens. I don't move, for now if I move, she won't be secure, she'll be afraid again. My arms hang limply at my sides, I make no move to reassure her, I just close my eyes taking in the memory of her heartbeat against me.

Her arms brushes against mine, her skin is freezing, now I know it's time. I don't break away from her grasp, instead I turn into it and hold her. It's my turn to give her some life.

"Do you love me?" Her voice isn't muffled by my shoulder blades. My fingers run through her ebony colored locks. I do not speak, I lean down and gently kiss her. Because that's all it takes. I hear her let out a small sigh.

If it's one of being content I can not tell. She pushes me away. "I can't keep doing this," That's what she says. I've lost count of how many times she said this to me. I watch her small figure shake, the door is still open.

And now it's my part of the cycle. "Then stop."

"No."

And that's when I know I hate her.

Looking down at her I can tell she doesn't hate me like I hate her. No, she loves me, like I know I love her. So why can't we show it?

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

To this I do not respond, I just stare at her, my eyes are impassive. "Perhaps." Her face doesn't change, "Or is that what we've forced ourselves to believe? Through our hate have we come to love? Or is it our love that makes us weak, causing us to hate?"

We've passed the yelling stage. And maybe we've passed the cycle, neither of us seem to love or hate each other. "Is that what happened? Or what you want to believe?" She asks me, her own hands falling limply to her sides.

"I won't lie."

"I never expected you to."

"I love you."

Her own eyebrows raise, I can tell she doesn't believe me. "I hate you." Just as she doesn't believe me, I don't believe her.

"That's what you say." I look at her and once again turn to leave. "But is it what you feel?" This time when the cold greets me, no one stops me. I did not expect her to. Now the third part of the cycle comes into play.

It's a chance we both love each other, but there's the chance we can't show it. We've both become to guarded. And that's why we hate each other.

She was hurt from past love. I was taught never to love, we've both guarded ourselves to much to let anyone in. But there's nothing I wouldn't do for her, there's no one I trust more, and there's no one who knows me better.

It's during these times we love each other the most.

I understand the hate, hate is something natural for me. Life is uncaring, so are people, I've learned to hate, it's taught in everything we know best. I can name every reason I hate her.

She's too stubborn and impulsive. Her strong will leaves small room for negotiation, her heart is bigger then her head, her naive nature causes her to find trouble too often.

Hate is something I bond with. My hate for her is simply no different.

Love is something I will never understand.

She stares at me for another minute. Her gaze isn't cold like mine, but it isn't warm. It's just there. Her eyes are searching, searching for what she wants to see. Whether if it's for my hate or love I do not know.

"What would you know about feeling?"

I do not flinch, though her words hurt, I know they're true. Because I know little about feelings, I only know what she has taught me. There's no answer for her question, because I know more then I've ever thought there was, and yet I know nothing about this with out her. "Do you always ask questions which don't have a correct answer?"

Her stare hardens, "The correct answer, would be nothing."

"Lie."

"So?"

"Lies are what got us here, aren't they?" I ask, my words are not incorrect. She was hurt, I wanted to escape. Lie of love. Lie of life.

"Do you regret it?"

"Only when I think there was something better for you," once again my words are honest. Taking a step back from shock, her eyes flash with emotion.

"Lie?"

I do not respond to this, for she knows it is not. She only wishes it to be so she can escape. From what? Me. No, from the truth. Her fantasy of love is not coming true. I do not understand our constant arguing, we should be able to put it behind us. Move forward to agreements, or move on past each other. And yet the reason we stay together is clear to me.

I love her to much to let her go.

By no means am I a selfish person, I should tell her to move on. Her life could be so much happier. "If you believe it then why do we argue?"

Finally her gaze on me is broken, she turns to stare out the window. "I don't know," she admits, hugging herself gently.

"Why do you stay with me?"

Her answer is simple and yet it gives me no reason. "For the same reason you stay with me." Her reply is automatic, every time I ask that's what she tells me. I do not know how she knows this, for she has never asked me the same question, but her answer is never wrong. "Did you read the paper this morning?"

I raise my eyebrow in question, "As I do every morning."

"The rumors were in."

"How do you know they are rumors?"

"You wouldn't tolerate me if you didn't love me."

I purse my lips together, she's right. Despite what the media thinks if she were simply some whore I would not be near her, while she's beautiful beyond all measure, her temper, and spirit are what set her apart.

Though, those are what make me hate her so much. She won't give in to me, her determination keeps our relationship going, she says she loves me to much to let me go. But whenever she says that there's only hate in her eyes.

I don't understand her.

"Do you think this will end?" She asked looking up at me, I pause and stare at her for a moment. I wish my answer would be yes, but I think we both know the answer is not likely.

"If you wish for it to end then leave." I tell her staring down at her, my amber eyes glowing. Around her remaining impassive is difficult. Her anger fuels my hatred, by her compassion fuels my love. Today her questioning causes my confusion.

Glaring at me she takes in a deep breath to control herself from yelling, "You could do it just as easily as me," she counters, not wanting to give in to my argument. "I know you hate this arguing as much as I do."

"It is to be expected." I remind her, "whether or not we are in a relationship we argue. Our jobs cause us to meet to often." Turning her head away her jaw clenches in anger.

"We're suppose to love each other!" Her eyes are glazed with tears. "Not argue like we want to throttle each other!"

Offering her my hand she looks away but takes it, pulling her close I lean my head against her hair, her sobs are muffled and stiff, she's trying to control herself I can tell. She's breaking, I've never seen her like this before. It was always been anger and hate, never broken sadness over me. Seeing her like this tears at me. The feeling bothers me beyond description. "Do you wish for me to leave you forever?" Her muscles go tight.

"No," swallowing a sob she continues. "I'd go after you." I looked down at her, bringing my hand up against her tear stained face, my head cocks.

"That's unreasonable."

"I don't care!" She shouts pounding her small fist into my chest. "I love you! Watching her carefully she continues to pound against my chest as if that'll break me down, at the same time she's sobbing into me, not daring to look at me. "I hate you so much!"

I do not understand her. "Why do you hate me?" That causes her to stop, she sniffs and looks up at me for a minute.

"Because, you don't love me like I love you."

"Is that what you believe?" My question causes her to bit her lip to restrain more tears.

"Yes."

"Is that what my actions say?"

"Some days."

I stare down at her for a minute before tilting her chin up to look at me, "Do you want things to change?" Her hesitation lets me know she's afraid I'll reject her if she says yes. "Do you wish for love instead of this?"

"I do." Turning her face away from mine, I can not understand why. In reality I can not figure out two things. One, why is she turned herself away? And two, why would she not speak it sooner?

Perhaps I should've figured out before, picked up on the vibes. Or maybe I did but chose not to do anything about it. Because I to felt fear, fear that if I told her she would reject me. Is that the same fear that makes her turn away?

"I will not fail to provide what you wish. I would not tolerate failure for one I love so dearly."

A/N: Okay, I didn't like this one to much, but review. Love it? Feel like strangling me now? I prefer you don't.