Here tonight by girldisturbed
Chapter One
Disclaimer: Nope don't own Inuyasha and crew. The lyric is from the band Hale and their song "Here tonight". Take note this is an AU.
Pairings: Sess/Kag, Inu/Kag
Ratings: M
Summary: Kagome is married to Sesshoumaru not by choice but by obligation. Inuyasha is unaccepting of this but has no choice in the matter. Oh well. The heart is a truly fickle thing... Two-shot
--
Here tonight
by: girldisturbed
--
So long to you my love
Don't be afraid to run away
--
He opens his eyes at the sound of the shoji screen closing. He looks at his side and sure enough she isn't there.
It's sometime after midnight he notes. Slowly he sits up from the bed. Listening intently, he hears their front door closing.
Standing up and putting on his slippers he makes his way out of the house towards her. Though he thinks with a sneer, he would probably be there aswell.
oOo
He spots them in a clearing at the forest near their house.
The location would probably be what she would call beautiful but right now his emotions are too dark and turbulent to care.
He hides behind a large oak tree nearest to where the two were so he could make out what's being said.
"I didn't think you'd make it." The red clad figure of Inuyasha spoke while staring down intently at the woman who made him feel so much with just her presence. The woman he'd do anything in this world for. Kagome.
"And why not? I don't go back on my word Inuyasha." She clutches the front of her yukata just as a breeze passes by and shivers from the chill.
She should've known better than to go out wearing nothing but a thin yukata at night. It was just asking for trouble. Sesshoumaru would've had a fit if he knew I went out like this.
On second thought, he'd probably go into homicidal rage if he knew what I was up to especially present company included. She sighs.
But...I can't help it...If I...
Inuyasha hops down from the boulder he's been sitting on and embraces her. Warding of the cold and the uncertainty he sees in her eyes.
Startled she looks at him. Silently asking for the reason behind the gesture. "Inuyasha?"
At the tone Inuyasha frowns "Do you doubt me Kagome?" He roughly asks. Looking ate her blue irises he sees it. Her trust in him, love but most of all he sees the guilt and the doubt as well.
He looks away unable to hold her gaze and tighten his embrace. Almost crushing her soft body with his.
Smiling at the feel of his body pressed against hers she lets out another sigh. "Don't worry Inuyasha. I'm still leaving with you tomorrow. It's just that--" He cut her off by pressing his lips to hers.
He wouldn't hear it. The thought of her actually feeling guilty leaving that bastard half-brother of his was something he would never stand to hear. It was bad enough that they were married with her living in that bastard's house but no more.
She was leaving with him. She should've been married to him in the first place! But their father chose Kagome for Sesshoumaru.
And the fucking bastard agreed to it! Knowing it would kill him. He probably did it for that reason anyway.
He slips in his tongue and deepens the kiss. Slowly he backs her to the boulder he'd been sitting on earlier and cages her with his embrace.
The feel of the cold stone on her back and Inuyasha's firm body surrounding her was enough to give her the strength to momentarily push pack the doubt and guilt she'd been feeling ever since she stepped out of their bed and out of their house.
And soon she loses herself on everything except Inuyasha and his rough kisses.
--
I know you'll be okay
Just take you're time to find
--
He watches them.
Watches as the half-breed slowly unties the sash to her yukata then slip his hand inside.
He feels liquid running form his hand and drops to the grass. It's his blood he thinks, strange but he can't feel the sting accompanied when receiving a wound.
He was shaking too he notes and his eyes were probably bloody red by now but he's numb to everything except the scene playing out before him.
He wonders why he still doesn't feel resentment or betrayal towards her. Didn't those usually show up when you see you're brother about to fuck you're wife? But he didn't. There were too many emotions running high but none of them were those. If he could name a particularly strong feeling right now it would be...
Bitter.
His musings come to a screeching halt when he sees her fumbling for his brother's belt till she finally unties his hakama. He sees Inuyasha kneading kneading her breasts and his eyes turn a darker shade of blood that he entertained the idea of ripping the hanyou to pieces before he clamps down his emotions and watches them again.
This he thought. This is nothing to me.
He watches as Inuyasha lifts her up then brings her down till he's impaled within her. He hears their moans of pleasure fighting the urge to childishly cover his ears shut his eyes and just run from everything.
From her. But he won't because he's already tried that. And it would just make matters worse because when his alone with his musings he wonders.
He wonders about her.
And about them.
And if could Kami please just give him this one piece of reprieve he needs so badly to remain sane in this fucking life. But no...things never turned out that way for him did it.
After all, he smiled bitterly who could love a murderer.
It's better to numb the pain. Naraku once told him. That way you'll never feel anything when the time finally comes when you'll be rid of them they'll just be another colorless memory ne?
So he'll watch through everything till there isn't anything to wonder about and it became clear to him.
--
But I need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really really need you here tonight
--
There's a stinging sensation behind his lids as he watches them now.
Tears?
He uncurls his left hand from the fist he'd been making and sure enough he'd been crying. So startled by the discovery he stares at his hand for a moment before he smiles.
A smile full of bitterness and acceptance. The only thing he wanted. The only thing he ever truly needed and craved desperately already belonged to someone else. And what's more fucking fucked up is that of all people it had to be--
"Inuyasha..." he hears her whisper and sees her face smiling blissfully as his brother sends her at the edge of ecstasy.
Again the trembling returns. Stop. He wills his body to listen. But this time it doesn't and instead the tremors come again harder.
"I...i...l-love...--"
And just like that something in him snaps.
He ran. Ran from them dancing underneath the moonlit sky and secluded forest. Ran from the unfinished statement he didn't want to hear. Ran from the picture of someone else touching her. Of the thought of her loving somebody else.
He ran till everything became a blur from the speed or the wet liquid that he couldn't stop from pouring. Ran from his emotions. Ran from the thoughts of her smiling face.
Their first awkward conversation till they got used to each other.
The first time they met. The first time he found his teenage brother kissing her when they were younger.
He remembered wondering how a kiss felt and thinking it couldn't be that bad if the person he kissed was her.
The first time his father taught him how to kill with a blade since Inuyasha couldn't do it. He's too soft and pure his father had said. How he wanted to scream that he had a heart too but couldn't because he knew. They depended on him father had said to make sure the family business runs smoothly.
The first time he ever became happy was when his father had told him that he was to wed Kagome. He thought then that even if he had to live in his fathers shadow for the rest of his life it wouldn't be that bad as long as she was by his side.
Their wedding night. The first time they made love. Even though he knew. He knew it was Inuyasha's face she imagined while he was inside her. Making love to hear making her delirious from happiness till she broke out in sobs. Her tears he thinks. He'd be able to withstand anything but her tears.
His run turned to a walk till he was almost crawling to go on.
But he didn't have anymore will so he stops. Unable to support his knees he leans in a tree and slid down to sit at the grass
He thought then that it would be okay, everything would turn out fine eventually he could teach her to love him just as much as she does Inuyasha. But it never went that way. Wishful thinking he thought.
With too much strain in both his mind and body he just lies there. Staring blankly at the sky till he remembers `she was leaving him tomorrow `His eyes turned glassy again and he didn't know if he could hold on to his mask anymore.
After awhile when the clouds parted to reveal the sun he stood up with the intent of going back to the house.
She'd be there anytime soon.
--
Made up my mind on this
Too late for me to hold you back
Maybe too short or dumb
To cry for you but I will anyway
--
By the time he got to their bedroom he could hear the water running. She opened the door and got out of the bathroom clad in only a fluffy white towel wrapped in her body.
Finding his voice caught in his throat all he could do was stare. "Where were you?" she asks. There's a particularly nasty quip for that one and it was just at the tip of his tongue but instead he kept silent.
She goes to the closet and takes out her favorite robe. The one he bought for her on their anniversary last year along with lingerie. It was tailored custom made out of the finest silk colored black with sakura trimmings by the edges. She looked beautiful in it. But then she didn't need anything to look beautiful at all.
When he finally registered the reason she glanced at him worriedly was because of her unanswered question "Out for a walk." he says blankly.
Worried about his tone and unconsciously furrowing her eyebrows she gazes at him when she notices his stare. His eyes she thought. So filled with...
She looks at his chest unable to hold his gaze and spots something that made her breath stop and blood run cold.
A grass leaf was stuck at the sash of his robe.
He notices her expression and follows her gaze. Ah. He thought. He forgot to make sure he looked presentable enough. Too much things running through his head to notice his how he'd look like. He keeps his face perfectly blank he looked like a sculpture made out of stone.
"At the forest." She asked with a slight tremor in her voice that shot down the nonchalance she tried to portray. When he was still silent she sits down by the chair feeling her knees go weak.
"Yes" he tries to make his tone even when he spoke but it came out pained instead. She gazes at him and gasps staring in his eyes. It was so clear. The emotions he usually would keep locked up were now painfully clear to her. He knew she thought.
He saw us.
Covering her mouth with a trembling hand she kneels on the floor before him and touches her forehead to the floor in a sign of submission and please please don't look at me like that. I don't deserve you're affection. And I'm sorry I didn't know you felt so much and
I'm sorryI'm sorryI'm sorry.
But sorry was never enough and she knew that. But she also knew that nothing else could make her forget the things she saw when he looked at me like that and sorry is the best thing that she could do
Tears falling in her eyes slipping on the tatami mat. What will happen now? She shouts desperately in her head. Will he kill Inuyasha? Will he kill me? When he was still silent for so long she gathers the courage to look up and face her judgment whether it be death or torture, but she needn't bother because he wasn't there anymore.
Listening intently for sounds emanating from the house to find out were he went her shoulders slumped when she heard the T.V. that had already been turned on in the living room. Figures she thought. He probably thinks is best that I leave.
She stood up on shaky knees and punches her chest. Stop this. She tells herself. She punches it some more. You can do this Kagome! Forcing her breathing to relax she wiped her tears and went to the closet planning on taking her clothes and putting it in her suitcase. It's time to finally leave him and our make pretend union.
Nodding to herself she placed her t-shirts in the suitcase and started when tears fell to her hand.
I...I'm supposed to be happy right? That he would let me go...so why do I...
Why do I feel like my hearts being crushed and beaten and other forms of torture to make me feel this much pain. Like a part of me is splitting in half and wanting to tear my hair out because nothing will be right anymore...make ME right anymore...
She lies in the bed curls into a ball and rocks her self. Stop crying. Think about Inuyasha. You love him right?
He fucking fucked you and you were glad about it right! You were planning on leaving him tomorrow weren't you! So stop this! What the hell are you crying for?! She pounds her fist to her chest trying to focus on anything but the pain she feels when thinking about leaving Sesshoumaru. She tries to regulate her breathing but it came out in shaky gasps and hiccups.
I can't stop it she thought. And like a dam that was released she grabs a pillow to muffle her voice and sobs. Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't I just love Inuyasha and don't give a damn on what happens to his brother! She closes her eyes and sobs harder gripping the pillow so tight that its stitches teared at the side. A picture of Sesshoumaru's eyes earlier flashed in her mind and the cries became stronger.
She cried for Inuyasha and the love they shared when they were children. For how he was treated by the world for being a hanyou. How he would sneak in to her bedroom ever since she was a child and they'd explore the forests. How he taught her to never be afraid of anyone especially yourself because what the hell are you so scared about? When he promised he'd protect her forever what's there to worry about. For everything thing they've been through and now...
She finds herself wondering why her heart hurt most when thinking about Sesshoumaru...the life he'd been taught to live. The happiness that never showed on his face only on those rare occasions where she can see it in his eyes. The boy who once asked her to kiss him if it's alright since there's nothing better to do. And she shouted No! Because I don't love you! She remembered that was the first time he'd ever seen the hurt appear in his face. The first emotion he felt for her was pain. She cried for the love she's caused and about to cause. Till her head spins and the pounding in her temples won't stop till there's darkness and she's asleep.
--
It's all my fault
To feel this way for you that day
I know I am and I will
Though it's wrong, so wrong
--
He listens outside the door to their room as her breathing evens out and she's asleep. After a minute of turning on the T.V. so she'll think he doesn't care, he sat on the floor outside the door to their room and has been listening there ever since.
He stands up, enters the room and closes the door quietly. Sesshoumaru watches her sleep for a minute then reaches out a clawed hand to ease the tight grip her hands had been making. Massaging her palms till the circulation of blood is normal he opens the blanket and slips in beside her.
Bringing her body closer to his he places his head in between her shoulder and head nuzzling her neck. Breathing in her scent he exhales every pent up emotion he's harbored so far. He lays there for awhile thinking about everything that occurred with her in his arms.
--
Cause I need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really really need you here
--
"What do you want me to do?" he whispers in her ear. She stirs a bit and snuggles closer to him letting out a contented sigh when their bodies were perfectly molded to one another. His golden eyes softened and he smiled. She always tried to comfort him when he was upset. Voluntary or involuntary she always managed to sense when something was troubling him every time they were together.
Even though he tried so much to keep it from her since she always blamed herself as the cause when he couldn't answer. How could he? And what would he say? I'm angry the man I killed didn't die painful enough to be worth justice for what he did to a child? That would just upset her more. So there was nothing to do but keep silent. But somehow she always understood it when it's like that. She understood me. His eyes widened at the realization and momentarily flashed red.
Finally finding the answer he'd been looking for, he tightens his hold and placed gentle kisses on her face.
"You belong to me." He whispered fiercely. Nipping an earlobe she moaned and was in the process of waking up. Kissing her neck and sucking it enough to leave marks he opens her robe leaving her bare to his gaze. Sucking on a rosy nipple and caressing the other with his right hand he didn't stop when he heard her moan.
"Sesshoumaru..." blinking back sleep she finally focused on what her husband was doing and groaned. "Wha? I-I thought--"shushing her words with a kiss he devoured her mouth and continued moulding her breast. Moaning at the delicious attack he was wreaking on her body she gasped when she felt the hand that had been steadying going down clutch her mound. "Ohm..."she gasped. Breaking the kiss and turning her head side to side she splayed both hands forming that it formed a T and clutched the sheets.
He bent down till he was kneeling in the middle of her thighs and brought his face to her vagina. Licking the folds of her clitoris and smiling when she gasped he sucked and nibbled at it with his tongue till she writhed in the sheets. "Ah!" she gasped. "Please don't stop..." Inserting a finger at her opening he licked and inserted another when she mewled. He pumped faster when her muscles twisted ready to come and groaned excitement sipping through his loins at the thought of being inside her. Finally flicking his thumb on her clit she came.
"Ahh! Sess--"he kissed her and lifted her body so that her hips aligned with his and his head was pointed at her opening. Breaking off the kiss he thrusted. Both groaning at the feel of each others bodies Sesshoumaru panted while Kagome tried to control her hammering heart.
She was so tight. "Ah!" he groaned when she moved. Smiling mischievously at him she flexed her muscles again delighting at his pants and flushed cheeks. He pulled out and thrust back in retaliation. Loving the friction they continued to ride each other. Thrusting in long thorough strokes reaching out she cupped his face and pulled him closer kissing him with all the love she felt for him..
Surprised by the intensity of her kiss he grasped her breasts with his left hand tweaking and caressing it. Cupped her bottom in his right squeezing the soft flesh and bringing her hips closer to his all the while thrusting in and out of her in a desperate way that made her breathless. Rolling his hips in a circular manner they both gasped and she almost came at the sensation.
She placed his head to lean in her neck and ran her hands through his hair while he continued his ministrations. "So beautiful..." she murmured. At hearing her softly spoken words he thrust in faster gripping her by the hips tightly and rocked them both that the bed kept squeaking. It's now or never he thought. She twisted her hips and flexed her muscles clamping down at him that he came along with her.
"I love you." Sesshoumaru whispered fiercely. Shocked she looked at him still ringing from the after shocks of their love making. "Sesshoumaru?" she asked. Leaning down so his whole body rested on her but taking care not to crush her he placed his head in her shoulder nuzzling her neck. "Please believe me. I do." He said in a desperate tone that made her eyes water. "Don't -"he was about to say when she cut him off "Ssshhh..."kissing his temples and running her hands in his silver locks. "I'm not going anywhere." She murmured. She felt liquid flowing from her shoulder to her chest but didn't say anything. And smiled when she felt his mouth curve upwards forming a smile.
--
I need you, I need you
I need you here inside
I need you, I need you
I really really need you here
--
They lay like that for awhile him content in her embrace and her wondering about what tomorrow will bring. The thought she had as she dozed off was that even though it would be hard, all that mattered was that she loved him and everything will work out eventually...
And besides Sesshoumaru thought, I can always chain her to the bed and strangle that insolent hanyou for trying to steal my wife. With a ghost of a smirk on his lips he slept along side his mate.
--
This is a two-shot. Next chap may take awhile. Read and Review.