Moving On by InutaiyoukaiNichne

Moving On

Moving On

Lyrics by Linkin Park

Song: Pushing Me Away (in italics)

She fell through the well for the last time; she wouldn't be returning to her time anymore she didn't belong there anymore anyway. Her power had grown to strong for her to be considered normal anymore. She didn't want to be there any way. She wanted to be here with her friends and her family here, her son her sister her brothers they all needed her no matter what it was that they had said to her. Her mother understood it was time for her to move on with her life and though she would never return to her mothers' side her mother understood that she was needed here more than she was there. The tears had gotten to her but she knew that she was better off here than she would be there. She knew that Inuyasha wouldn't ever love her the way that she wanted and she was fine with that now. She had long ago given up that childish dream but that didn't mean that she was giving up on him or her family here she could never do that to them. She just wanted some time alone. The others would know that she was here soon so she sat down near the edge of the well and waited on them. She had to make a break from Inuyasha she wanted to roam the lands alone and get to know herself again without him at her side all the way. She had a few more shards to gather so this would be a good time for her to use what she had learned from the others.

She looked up at the stars and waited for them. She needed to get rid of the poison that had been hiding in her heart for so long about the hanyou and his choice to leave with Kikyo for the underworld after Naraku. She needed the release that only he could give to her and tonight was the night. She had to do this so that she could move on with her life there was nothing left of what she had once thought she felt for him. She was at ease with her choice and now she needed to do this.

She felt the presence of a strong youkai in the area but then it became masked so that the others wouldn't know who it was. A smile found its slow way to her face she knew who it was and she didn't mind that he was there. It had been his words to her that had awakened her desire for more out of life. He had been the one to open her eye to the possibilities of something more for her and her heart he didn't know it though and were she to tell anyone he would deny it and they wouldn't believe him but it hadn't been much longer than a week ago that he had come to her and talked to her if you could call it that.

Flashback

She had seen Inuyasha and Kikyo together again in the woods and though she had found that she no longer loved him it still hurt her to think that she would rather go to hell with her than try to find happiness here in the mortal realm. She had run from the scene to the well so that she could think over the things that she had found out about herself and what she wanted to do with her life after the jewel was finished and Naraku was destroyed. Her tears had begun to blend in with the rain that fell softly that night. He had come out of nowhere and stood in front of her for a while. He didn't say a word he just stood there nothing more a time. She knew that he could kill her with out messing his hair in the slightest or even taking a breath but he had stood there for a moment just looking at her. His voice of velvet and steel startled her when he finally did speak.

"Use the fury inside you to move on. You are correct you are stronger than you might even know. Get training finish this quest you are on to destroy the hanyou. Live your life, but do so with out him."

End Flashback

She had not thought about the possibility of moving on with out him but now that she had thought about it for a full week she knew that it was for the best if she stopped hanging on him and moved on she deserved more and some where some how she would find what it was that her heart needed. She smiled again at the thought that though he might not have known what he had done the silent eyes in the night near her had changed her life. She could only hope that she could find the happiness that she wanted and needed for her heart. She looked up into the tree that he had taken his place in and smiled at him he didn't need to know what he had done he would see soon enough the changes that she had made to her life and she could only hope that in some place in his long still heart that she would find a place as a friend.

The group that she traveled with soon appeared in the clearing around the well. It was time to tell them what she had come to see as the undeniable truth about herself and them. She didn't want to hurt them but she honestly thought this for the best she wanted them to be happy it was time that they all had a measure of happiness.

"Sit down we need to talk." She said softly to the group in front of her. Her brothers her son and her sister they all took seats around her and started a fire. She had told them when she left them that she had to do some thinking and they were expecting something like this but they didn't know just what things were going to change for all of them tonight.

" What is going on Kagome?" asked the hanyou first. She smiled a sad smile then with the thought of her freedom and taking her life into her own hands it brightened and she decided that now was the time to move on.

"I've lied to you Inuyasha the same way that I always do." Her voice low and sad

"What do you mean Kagome?" asked the confused group in front of her

"This is the last smile that I will fake for the sake of being with you."

"You mean. . . . ."

"Yes all those times that you left with her killed me and my love for you I have learned that I cant do it any more."

"You're leaving us?" asked the hanyou

"Everything falls apart even the people that never frown eventually breakdown." She sighed as she looked at the hanyou knowing that the truth was going to hurt them all but she would still be here for them. She had no other place to go her mother and grandfather sealed the well right after she had come through this time to prevent Naraku from using it or Kikyo to get her soul

"You mean that I hurt you that bad?" asked the depressed hanyou

"The sacrifice of hiding in a lie everything has to end, you'll soon find out we're out of time to watch it all unwind is cruel the sacrifice of never knowing what more is out there for me."

"You lied to me all this time so that I wouldn't feel the true sting of the hurt that I caused you."

"Why I never walked away, why I played myself this way, the reasons for that Inuyasha were all that I thought that you needed me. I thought that in time you love me might decide to live for me but I see now that you wont."

"Now I see your testing me, pushing me away." Said the hanyou as he sat there a little angry at her for saying things that he had never heard come from her mouth before

"Why I never walked away why I played myself this way I never thought that I could make it here without you now I know that I can."

"What brought this on Kagome?" asked Sango as she looked at her sister who had grown up a lot in the week that she had been gone from them the simple fact that she was talking to Inuyasha about the pain that he had put her thorough for the past years was more than an example of the growing that she had done there were no tears to night Sango doubt that there would be any anymore.

"I thought about what my life would be like with out all of you and though I don't like the thought of Inuyasha joining Kikyo in hell I know that I cant stop living my life so that he has all that he wants I am my own person. I tried to like him to do everything that he wanted too this is the last time that I will take the blame for the sake of being with him. My pain ends here tonight and I get to move on with my life without all of the pain." Said Kagome as she watched the others of the tachi in front of her

"Inuyasha even you have to admit that everything falls apart even the people that never frown eventually break down the sacrifice of hiding in a lie destroying what peace that they might have once had, everything has to end she is right about the fact that you'll find that we're out of time to watch the things between the two of you, to watch it all unwind. There is a true and deep meaning in the words the sacrifice is never knowing, what more she could be without us." Said Miroku who also saw the growth that she had done in the past week. She was more mature than Kikyo was at the height of her power and life.

"Now do you understand why I never walked away why I played myself this way?" Kagome asked Inuyasha

"I still think that now I see you're testing me pushing me away." Said Inuyasha as he moved closer to Kagome

"Look again and see why I never walked away why I played myself this way for so very long Inuyasha."

"Now I know that you are testing me pushing me away from you."

"We're all out of time this is how we find out how it all unwinds you will soon see the sacrifice of hiding in a lie." Her voice soft pleading with the hanyou to see the truth of her words as she sat there in the night she needed him to. Alone but not alone for she knew that her silent friend that wasn't quite a friend yet was not that far from her he lent her the strength to do this she had to do this she would never be able to move on with her life if the hanyou couldn't let her go peacefully.

"She's right Inuyasha we're all out of time this is how we find out how it all unwinds the sacrifice of never knowing would kill her you know that look in your heart and see the truth of her words." Said Sango as she looked at her sister still surprised by the fact that there were no tears on her face now she doubted that there would be for the hanyou again with the exception of his choice and when he took the action to follow through with that same choice.

"Can you see why never walked away why I played myself this way now I see your testing me pushing me away from you all this time. You thought that I wouldn't be hurt by your choice but you were wrong my heart broke for you so many times but now I am taking it back I still think of you as a brother but I have to find a way on my own." Kagome's voice was strong and sincere she meant this and she had to get this though to him he needed to know.

"But Kagome you are also the reason why I never walked away the reason why I played myself this way now I know that you were always testing me pushing me away." Sighed the hanyou as he got up and left her his choice made hers made as well it was over for now and ever he didn't want to see her again after the battle with Naraku he never would have to again it would be the end of it all. His life over and his love for her gone with those words that she had said to him.

"All he ever did was push me away." Sighed Kagome as she looked at the others there in front of her.

"We know Kagome but we know that you will not leave us all here alone." Said Shippo as he moved to her lap and held her tight

"You are right I will still be here I am not leaving you leaving you I will go out on my own and find for myself the peace that I lost living in the lie that I did for so long I will always be near." Smiled the miko now ready to move on with life.

"You know that all you have to do is call to us and we will be there for you no matter what it is no matter where you are."

"We are family." Said Kagome as she looked up into the tree again. She saw his silver head nod and watched him start to leave. Her eyes filled with tears at the sight of him turning his back on her as well. He stopped and waited for the others to leave her. She needed him to be there for some reason and since she had learned what it was that he had tried to tell her he would stay there to make sure that she knew that he would be there too should she need him.

"We are going back to the village Kagome but know all you have to do is call to us we will be here for you. You don't have to carry this burden alone anymore."

"Thank you. See you in the morning."

"We will you too. Later Kagome." Said the monk and the slayer as they left her there in the forest alone for the first time in her time here. They wouldn't be coming for her anymore until she called to them she had grown and they knew it had only been a matter of time. She released the breath that she had been holding. She again looked into the tree above her and beckoned him down from his perch. The kitsune hid in her hair as the silver youkai came out of the shadows.

"You learned."

"Thanks to you."

"You did the right thing."

"I know if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have done it."

"You would have died from it."

"I know that."

"I want you to know should you ever need me I am here you know my name call to me and I will come you have earned my respect tonight."

"There is some thing that I want from you but I know that you wont do it." Her head hung low on her chest.

"What would that be?" he asked her

"Your friendship."

"You have it. I leave you to find your path should you get lost again or want to see me call my name I will come to you if at all possible."

"Thank you."

"Rest for the night and know that you are on a road full of new things and feelings no more pain."

"You're right you have been all along. Good night."

"Good night." With that the silver youkai left her there in the clearing with a speechless kitsune and the fire that her friends had made.

Tonight was her rebirth she was finally moving on with her life. She was starting over and the adventure would be her own for the most part. Her friends other than the hanyou would be there should she need them. She had her son and her heart back that was all that she needed for the night.

Morning would bring all of this to the light and she would truly find her own way that was all that mattered now. It was the simple fact that she had reclaimed her heart and decided to move on.