What Hurts The Most by Cassial_Darkfox

Chapter One

What Hurts The Most

Story By: Cassial_Darkfox

Lyrics By: Rascal Flatts

Song: What Hurts The Most

AN: I was listening to this song and thought wow, that would make a perfect fic... so here ya are! This will be one-shot unless I get requests to follow up on it. Read and Review!!

~*~

Kagome sat across the fire from her friends. She was, as usual, doing homework on her pointless quest to catch up in school. Math was her weak point and that was what she was doing, she wanted to scream. With a huff she closed her book and threw her pencil on top of it. "I give up!"

Inuyasha cocked his head, "It's about time wench. You give me a headache just watching you do that."

Her eyes narrowed, "Sit boy."

He cursed her as he kissed the ground.

She smiled, "Well in the future learn to keep your mouth shut."

Suddenly Inuyasha sat up and started growling. "Its about time," He grumbled to himself.

"What is it?"

Shippo got up in Kagome's lap incase it was danger and watched as everyone around him stared at Inuyasha waiting for some clue as to what was coming their way. He frowned, "What is it dogboy?"

"What did you say runt?" He made a motion to grab at Shippo but Kagome's glare stopped him. "What?! He started it!"

"Inuyasha you shouldn't take all of his goading. You know he's setting you up." Miroku smirked down at the hanyou as he stood next to Sango. "Lady Kagome would never let you hurt Shippo."

"Yeah!" The kitsune stuck his tongue out at the hanyou.

"Why you-" He grabbed Shippo and got a blast of Foxfire in the face.

"Being bested by a kitsune kit? You are a sad example of our breed hanyou."

He growled, "Shut up you bastard." Inuyasha dropped Shippo into Kagome's lap. "And what the hell took you so long?"

Kagome stood up, "Inuyasha stop being a jerk."

"Feh." He folding his arms over his chest.

"I had things that had to be dealt with."

Rin ran out from behind her Lord and went straight to Kagome. "Momma!"

Kagome leaned down and received Rin with open arms. "Rin I missed you!"

She looked up and saw Shippo sitting on Kagome's shoulder, "Hi Shippo! Rin missed you too!"

The kit smiled and jumped down to play with Rin. The two of them started a game of hide and seek.

With a smile directed at the kids Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru. "I missed you too Sesshoumaru."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "Gag me with a spoon."

She glared at him, "That can be arranged Inuyasha!" Still glaring at Inuyasha she turned back to Sesshoumaru and smiled brightly.

He allowed a small smile to cross his face, "I missed you as well Kagome."

Not being able to contain her happiness, Kagome threw herself into Sesshoumaru's arms. She nuzzled her face into his chest, "I missed you so much..."

"I know." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. Taking in her scent he calmed and allowed himself to relax into her embrace.

Miroku watched the scene before him and sighed. He looked down at Sango who had taken her place when she saw it was Sesshoumaru. Casting one last look at Sesshoumaru and Kagome he sat back down beside Sango.

Sango stared into the fire and absently stroked Kirara.

Miroku's eyes settled on her backside and his hand started to twitch. Not being able to resist he let his hand fall to her rear.

She slapped him on impulse, "Hentai!!" Sango glared at him and moved out of his reach.

Inuaysha smirked, "Give up Miroku."

Kagome looked at them from Sesshoumaru's arms and laughed.

Sesshoumaru picked Kagome up and moved deeper into the forest.

Inuyasha yelled from back at camp, "Hey try to come back with all of your clothes this time!"

Sango blushed, "Inuyasha!"

From deep in the forest came Kagome's voice, "Sit, sit, sit!"

His face met the ground in three powerful jolts. He groaned as his back popped loudly.

Kagome laughed from her place in Sesshoumaru's arms, "Serves him right."

Sesshoumaru shook his head and smiled slightly.

"You know you like when I sit him."

"I never claimed I didn't."

She smiled, "Exactly." Snuggling closer to his chest she sighed, "What did take you so long Sesshoumaru? You said you would be back two weeks ago, I was worried."

He looked down at her as he walked, "Naraku was spotted in the Western Lands, I had to seek him out."

She looked up, "And?"

"He has all the shards except yours. He asked me to ally with him and finally kill Inuyasha. Foolish hanyou thinking I need help to kill Inuyasha." He sighed, "I told him so and refused."

"Hm, that works I guess. Now all we have to do it find him."

"No, I know where he is. He told me incase I wished to change my mind."

Kagome started at him with her mouth open, "He told you? Is he stupid?"

"I suppose so." Sesshoumaru stopped and sat beneath a tree, Kagome was in his lap with her back to his chest.

She leaned into him and sighed, "I wish it could just stay like this."

He nuzzled her neck, "It would be nice."

"It would be more than nice. It would be a dream come true!" She moved so her back was to his arm and she looked up at him.

A silver brow rose, "A dream?"

A blush spread over her cheeks. "I didn't mean anything by it!"

"Oh really? Is there something I should know?"

"Well," she looked down, her blush getting deeper, "I mean you are Sesshoumaru."

"What exactly does that mean?"

"Well, you are hot and perfect and cute and gorgeous and maybe I have had a thing for you since I first saw you..." She burried her burning face into his chest.

He smiled a true smile, "Really?" Knowing how to make her relax he put his arms on her sides. Not making it too obvious he moved them slowly and lightly, then he started tickling her.

She started to struggle and laugh, "Stop, no I can't take it!" Her laughter rang through the forest.

Stopping the tickling he caught her eyes and smiled.

Kagame laughed, "That wasn't fair!"

He leaned down and placed his lips over hers. He lightly bit her lip and soothed the bite with his tongue.

She moaned into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Sesshoumaru almost lost it when she did that. He eased the kiss and slowly pulled back. A smirk found its way to his face as he saw the dazed look on her face.

Kagome smiled, "Mmmm, I missed you a lot." She snuggled back into his arms. 'This is where I belong, here with him. I...' As much as she was sure her feelings were genuine and she knew he felt the same for her, she couldn't say the words her heart needed to say.

"Kagome..."

"Huh?" She looked up.

"What is wrong?"

"Nothing..."

"Kagome." His voice was stern.

"I just don't want things to change... I want to stay here with you. And I'm afraid about the battle with Naraku."

"Nothing will happen, we will win." He put his hand on her cheek and caressed her face, "I will not lose you and you will not lose your friends."

She smiled, "Thanks Sesshoumaru."

He kissed her lightly then hugged her tightly.

~*~

Miroku sighed to himself unaware that Sango was still awake.

"What's wrong Miroku?"

He looked at her, "Oh I was just thinking about Kagome..."

Her eyes went wide then narrowed, "Sesshoumaru is going to kill you."

"No not like that." He looked up at the stars, "Kagome has found someone who can finally make her happy. I envy her, I do." Looking at Sango he smiled a sad smile, "I wish I was lucky enough to have someone like she has him."

Sango looked at him in shock, she never thought she would hear that from him.

"I want to be happy, to settle down with someone and spend the rest of my life with them... that would be the perfect life.

~*~

"Kagome! Move!"

She turned to Inuyasha's voice just as one of Naraku's youkai came at her. Using her bow she shot it and hearing a noise behind her she turned to see another one closing in. 'I don't have time to shoot it!'

Ah-Un attacked the youkai from the side and killed it. He growled to Kagome and she got on his back.

Inuyasha sighed as he saw Kagome take to the skies. He felt Sesshoumaru at his back, "That woman of yours is going to give me a heart attack."

"You're not the only one." Sesshoumaru wiped out hundreds of youkai with Tokijin in one sweep, but they were just replaced by more.

Tetsusaiga was also getting a workout, Inuyasha had killed hundreds since the start of the battle and youkai just kept coming. "Dammit, is there no end to these bastards?"

"There has to be..." Sesshoumaru lept away from Inuyasha and into the hoard of youkai. Tokijin killed everything in its wake.

Miroku used his wind tunnel as often as he could to suck the youkai in. He had to be cautious of the poison insects, but he was killing many youkai.

Sango was nearby with Kirara destroying youkai with her Hiraikotsu while Kirara watched her back.

Kagome was starting to run out of arrows as she saw Naraku emerge from the youkai. Her face twisted in digust as she saw that he was absorbing his own youkai to gain strength. "Sesshoumaru! Inuyasha!"

Both turned towards her at the opposite ends of the battle field.

She pointed at Naraku, "There he is!"

They saw him and growled. Both raced towards him, demolishing anything that stepping in their paths. Sesshoumaru reached Naraku first and pointed Tokijin at him, "Today you pay." He rushed Naraku and he felt Inuyasha close behind him.

Sesshoumaru swung the Tokijin at him and jumped up as Inuyasha swung Tetsusaiga at the hanyou.

He took the two blows with a smirk. "You fools. You can not defeat me, I am more powerful than both of you combined."

Kagome landed beside Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, "That attack didn't work..."

Sango and Miroku ran up behind them with Kirara following them.

She looked at the two beside her and to her friends behind her, "We'll throw everything we have into one powerful final attack. Sesshoumaru, Inuyahsa you guys go first, then Sango. Miroku, you and I will attack last with spiritual power. I need your help to purify the Shikon in his body."

They all nodded and separated. Kirara and Ah-Uh took to the sky and waited if someone needed help.

Naraku looked at them all evenly. The only one he could cause him real trouble was the miko, so she would be the first to go. He scowled, "Miko you die today." His arm turned into tentacles and shot at her.

Sesshoumaru fought the urge to go to her and instead rushed Naraku again with Inuyasha following him. They both swung their swords at the sametime, the energy from the swords combining and crashing into Naraku.

Sango came up behind their attack and attacked Naraku with her katana. She jumped away as she felt Miroku and Kagome get ready to attack.

"Miroku aim your attack at the Shikon so we can purify it!"

He nodded and called all of his spiritual power to the surface for this attack.

Kagome and Miroku joined hands and lifted their other ones.

Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Sango watched as both of their eyes glowed bright pink and the energy exploded from their opened palms.

Naraku watched all of this in amusement.

Kagome sent her heart into that attack and watched it fly as her strength left her. She fell to her knees and started to breath harshly.

Sesshoumaru ran to her side and picked her up. Kirara took Miroku and they all moved back, not sure if it was going to work.

Naraku held up his hand and prepared to stop the weak attack. Then suddenly it gained immense power and rushed faster at him. He screamed as his whole body was engulfed in pain and purity.

They watched as Naraku disintigrated and his power disappeared.

Kagome smiled as the dust cleared and there was nothing but a large fraction of the Shikon, pure pink, waiting where Naraku once stood.

Sesshoumaru let her down and followed after her as she went to retrieve the Shikon.

She picked it up and turned around. "Its done, its finally over." Kagome's eyes went blank.

He looked into her eyes and noticed what was happening. "Kagome?" Sesshoumaru went to her side, "Kagome?"

Kagome was in a pink cloud, that was the only way she could think to describe it. She looked around, "Hello?"

The Shikon is complete. We are complete. Now we will go somewhere to be safe... in the future

Her eyes cleared up and she blinked. Everyone was around her, staring at her.

Sesshoumaru caught her eyes, "What was that?"

She shrugged, "I think the Shikon just talked to me... It said it was going somewhere safe, in the future..." Kagome smiled, "We beat him!" She jumped into Sesshoumaru's arms but didn't feel them wrap around her. Her eyes shot open, everything was fading. "No... No! Sesshoumaru!"

He watched as she vanished. "Kagome..."

Inuyasha's ears went back, "Goodbye Kagome."

Sango started to cry, Miroku put his arm around her as his own tears fell silently to the ground.

~*~

Kagome woke up in front of the Goshinboku with the Shikon no longer in her hand. "No!" she screamed, "I didn't want to come back! Why did you bring me back?!" She threw the Shikon away from her as her heart ripped in two.

Her mother ran out as soon as she heard Kagome scream, "Kagome? What's wrong?!"

Souta and her grandfather watched from the house as Kagome cried into her mother's arms. Her grandfather saw the shine of the pink jewel and picked it up. He looked down at it and then up at Kagome in her mother's arms, he closed his hand around it.

"What is that Grandpa?" Souta looked at him and back at Kagome.

He could tell Souta was worried about his sister. "This is the cause of Kagome's pain and misery."

"Oh..." Souta looked at his sister, "I wish I could make her stop crying."

"Me to Souta... me too."

Kagome's mother took her up to her room and laid her in bed. She sat with her daughter for a short time before leaving her to sleep.

As soon as her mother shut the door Kagome's eyes opened. She sat up and looked out into the now dark sky outside her window.

Of all the things to happen, she couldn't believe it. Nothing could prepare her for losing all of her friends so fast, so soon.

'Sesshoumaru...' Unbidden, more tears fell from her eyes.

She had thought that all of the pain from losing Inuyasha was bad, but this, this was the worst pain she had ever felt. Her heart ached and her head hurt from the thought of never seeing Sesshoumaru or her friends ever again.

Now she had to try to pick up the pieces of her life and keep moving on. Right now though that seemed more than impossible. It didn't seem plausable for her to move on without her friends or Sesshoumaru. He had become her life and now, he was gone forever.

Things between them had been slow at first but they quickly sped up.

~*~ Flashback ~*~

"Sesshoumaru if I mean nothing to you why do you keep coming back? Just to prove a point? To make me feel what I can't truly have? If so then I don't want to see you anymore." Kagome looked down at the ground as tears stung the backs of her eyes. This was what it had come to, she was tired of feeling used all the time and told him so.

"Do you think I can truly feel something for a human?" His eyes were turned to the night sky as he thought of what to do about Kagome.

"You must, otherwise you wouldn't keep coming back for more." She looked up at his face, "And the kisses you give me are so full of feeling. I don't believe for a second that you are as cold as you want people to think you are."

He sighed, "Then you claim that I have feelings for you?"

"I can't really claim anything now can I? You never talk to me so I don't know anything about your feelings or if any exist towards me." She sighed loudly, "Just go Sesshoumaru. And don't bother coming back because I just don't want to feel used anymore."

"Do you really feel like I am using you?"

"Yes Sesshoumaru. I feel like you want me just for the fuck I can give you."

He sneered at her, "I am above using a female for sex. If that is what I wanted I could have had countless females at my feet at any second."

"So..."

Sesshoumaru knelt down beside her and turned her face to him, he smiled softly. "Kagome I continue to see you because you captivate me. You confuse me so much but I know I want to see you again after every meeting we have and not just for sex."

Her eyes sparkled and she smiled, "So you... you do love me?"

"I do not know love Kagome but I do desire you with everything that I am." He kissed her softly and looked deep into her eyes.

She wanted to but she couldn't say she loved him, after Inuyasha things would be hard to get past. He had torn her heart to shreds and she was reluctant to put it out in the open again so soon.

~*~ End Flashback ~*~

Now more than anything she wished to see his face, feel his arms around her, and to know that no matter what he would always be there for her. But no more was that the case, he was gone... and nothing could change that.

~*~

The time without Sesshoumaru and her friends passed by slowly but still passed by. Days to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. Before long Kagome had all but given up on the dream of seeing Sesshoumaru or her friends ever again.

*I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me*

After all the time that passed she would still cry for her lost love and lost friends. Nothing would stop the tears once they started but it only happened every once in a while and life still moved on. Even if she didn't want it too without them.

She finished school top in her class, coming back from behind since she didn't want to do anything but study to take her mind off of what she lost. Kagome had convinced her friends that she was alright, just a bad break up with Inuyasha. That had made her smile, like so few things did these days.

*What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do*

Kagome wished she could experience all of their times together and change the things that seemed so small now. To hold him closer for just a little bit longer, to kiss him a little bit deeper, and to tell him how much she needed him around. And thinking of what their futures could have had together made Kagome cry all the more harder because she would never know.

She couldn't even say goodbye to him when in her heart she feared that might happen. It hurt too bad to even think about losing him and it happened without another word.

*It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken*

Now after all her years without him, she wished with her whole heart that she had told him how much she loved him. Because she had, she loved him more than she ever thought she could, but she feared rejection again. So foolishly, she left her true feelings left unsaid and bury deep in her heart.

Since that day she came back her deepest regret was not telling him and her life suffered because of it. She had lost touch with all of her friends because they said she wasn't the same since what happened. Kagome couldn't agree more.

*What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do*

Kagome stood under the shade of the Goshinboku and looked up into the high branches. She heard footsteps behind her and turned, her grandfather was coming up to her with something in his hand. A necklace it looked like.

"I never thought that a fate such as this could befall you Kagome. I wished so much more for my granddaughter, I did. I wanted you to be happy."

She smiled a small smile, "I was grandpa, I was."

"I want to see you smile like you did before, when you were there with your friends..."

"I know, but that time is long past gone now." Her eyes returned to the tree before her and her eyes imagined Inuyasha pinned to the tree 500 years in the past. And a small clueless girl that freed him and started their journey.

*What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do*

"You really did love that youkai, didn't you?"

"Youkai..." She looked her grandpa in the eyes, "I never told you about Sesshoumaru... or mom either. How did you know?"

He smiled, "You should pay more attention to the stories I try to tell you. The legend of the Miko and her Taiyoukai is a big one. It didn't take long after you got back for me to realize that everything matched."

*Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do*

Kagome closed her eyes and saw Sesshoumaru, "Yeah I really did love him, but he never knew."

He took her hand and placed the necklace in her hand, "I think he knew Kagome. If he didn't then he was a fool." With that he turned and walked away leaving her speechless.

She looked in her hand and found the Shikon no Tama on a chain. Without a second thought she put the necklace on, knowing that she couldn't avoid her duties to the Shikon forever.

Deciding that it was time to start dinner she started to head in.

Kagome heard footsteps coming up the shrine stairs and turned, "I'm sorry but the shrine is closed."

"Kagome I finally found you."

Her eyes widened, "Sesshoumaru?"

~*~ END ~*~

You all asked for it and now its underway... the long awaited sequal!! The first chapter will be up soon!! Look for it no later than November 15th!! It'll be under the name

So Close

watch for it and thanks for sticking around!!

~Cassial