Probably wouldn't be this way by Warai_Jizai1986

Chapter 1

Probably wouldn't be this way

It's been a year since Sesshomaru died and yet still here I lay in my bed crying over my lost love in my new house. God I miss him so much. Today I am going to visit him, I wrote a song and I wanted to sing it to him.

I get out of bed, take a shower and get dressed. Slowly I make my way down stairs, guitar in tow, and out the door to the Honda RC51 Motorcycle the Sess had given me as a birthday present a year ago And took off towards my distination.

As I pulled up to the cemetary I slow down to a stop and get off. I slowly, almost mechanically walk to his spot, were I sit down and begin to talk to him,

"Hey sweetheart. Sorry I haven't been here in so long but it's been difficult, I can't seem to stop crying....I miss you so much, why did you have to leave me?"

I'm trying to hold my sobs in by now, I take a deep breath and calm myself down.

"I wrote a song and I wanted to sing it you.....I think it's about time that I start trying to move on with my life, although I know I will never forget you or our love...."

I could feel his presence around me, as well as someone else's but I didn't say anything to the other person, I just let the familiar person continue watching me and began with a slow strum on my Guitar and then started to sing,(A/N: no I don't own this song Lee Ann Rimes does haha)

"Got a date a week from Friday

With the preacher's son

Everybody says he's crazy

But I'll have to see

I finally moved to Jackson

When the summer came

I won't have to pay that boy

To rake my leaves

I'm probably going on and on

It seems I'm doing more of that these days"

I could feel my chin start to tremble and voice as well but wouldn't let myself cry until I was done.

"I probably wouldn't be this way

I probably wouldn't hurt so bad

I never pictured every minute without you in it

Oh, you left so fast

Somtimes I see you standing there

Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch

Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky

To have had the chance to love this much

God, give me a moment's grace

Cause if I'd never seen your face

I probably wouldn't be this way"

I look at the headstone and continue,

"Mama says, that I just shouldn't speak to you

Susan says, that I should just move on

You oughtta see the way these people look at me

When they see me round here talking to this stone

Everybody thinks I've lost my mind

But I just take it day by day

I probably wouldn't be this way

I probably wouldn't hurt so bad

I'd never pictured every minute without you in it

Oh, you left so fast

Sometimes I see you standing there

Sometimes I feel an angels touch

Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky

To have had the chance to love this much

God, give me a moment's grace

Cause if I'd never seen your face

I probably wouldn't be this way

I probably wouldn't be this way

Got a date a week from Friday

With the preacher's son

Everybody says I'm crazy

Guess I'll have to see"

I lean my head on the stone and start to sob silently and jump slightly when I an felt arm come around me and pull me into a strong chest, through my sobs I manage to speak, "I....miss...him so much Inu!", I could heard him make shushing noises as he continued to rub my back and hold me." I know you do Kags, so do I, so do I....but things will get better with time, trust me..."

After a while I finally calm down and with Inuyasha's help I stand. I turn around and to Sess I say, " I will always love and remember you but I need to move on....I'll come back a visit but not as often as I did, so goodbye my love." I set a red rose down on the top of his stone and with Inu's arm around my shoulders walk away and go home to start trying to move on.

5 yrs later...

True to my words I visited Sess, but also did move on...I'm engaged now to a wonderful man and pregnate with my first child, I'm planning on naming him Sesshomaru, in honor of the man I lost all those years ago....