Coins and Coffee by lost_marble

Coins and Coffee

>*<

I stick loneliness, your lips

and the two coins of your eyes

Into my pockets

>*<

She's back home. (Has been for two years now, since she finished high school. That summer, they found the last of what they had been looking for, defeated the last enemy, and she took a "break" at home, but never came back.)

She sees him across the street. It's his eyes that catch her eye and her breath. He lacks his markings and his long hair is in a braid of snow down his back, not left free, but his eyes...she would know them anywhere. He sees her seeing him, and the connection is made.

His eyes and his brother's are like two sides of the same coin, held on an open palm too long in the winter air: one cold, but full of the knowledge of the equally cold world, one warm but completely ignorant of its surroundings. Two years have taught her that sometimes, the cold can wake you up, even if it is warmth that comforts you.

She expected to be awake, but, as though she has just drunk three shots of espresso, she's a little warm as well. She doesn't know why--but she is comforted.

>*<

Well the train skates into

Port Henry late Sunday

Sometimes when I'm riding high

Feeling fine you know there's something

Troubling my mind

>*<

Taking the train back to school from home three months later, staring out the window, she wonders what might have been had she not wished Inuyasha and Kikyo to forget her. A pure wish, so the one that granted it was no more. The next morning, she left, and nobody saw her look back.

>*<

So I reach into my pocket for some

Small change

I reach into my pocket for some

Small change

>*<

She thinks of his eyes again, and how they seemed to have softened a little. Or is their brilliant gold just a little tarnished? Years and years, she can only imagine what the friction wrought by their passing might do, even to a youkai as hard as he had seemed so long ago. Perhaps he had learned that if he became a bit more flexible, he would be harder to break.

>*<

I want bones like iron blood like mercury

so I can tell you when I'm rising

and when I'm sinking in

>*<

She wishes that she were strong, made of steel. Nothing breakable.

But then, she supposes that someone would just melt her down, anyway.

Wants to feel it in her bones, in her veins when the winds of chance are changing, about to leave her cold. She would prepare next time; take back the piece of her heart that she so willingly gave. But realizes that she couldn't wouldn't if she could. It's not hers anymore, anyway.

>*<

so I reach into my pocket for some

small change

I reach into my pocket for some

small change

we're gonna take it to the people

>*<

A week or so later, riding to class on the train. She thinks of all the faces that she never saw again, realizes that she has trouble remembering them in detail. She remembers the calming voice of the monk, speaking words of wisdom even as his hand found its way to her backside, but can't remember any of his words. A flash of purple for Miroku's eyes, but what color were Sango's? She can remember the color of the demon slayer's uniform (black with pink pads), but not the way her voice sounded when she laughed. Can't remember Inuyasha's face when he saw her after she had been gone for a long while, though the softness in his golden eyes still burns holes through her if she thinks about them too long. She remembers everything about Shippo but knows that, should he still be alive, she would not recognize the man that he had become. It makes her throat ache with loneliness to realize that it has been so long, and her heart ache when she realizes that she doesn't really mind after all, having a hole there.

>*<

hey let's drink from the cup

share some luck

go ahead and laugh cause it don't

cost much

>*<

Starbucks, one morning. She's on her way to her next class, he's on his way to work. They are both late, but reach for the same cup. She would have thought that he would have liked his coffee hot and black, he would have thought that she would order something more sugary and youthful than a French Roast with soy milk.

She gives him an odd little half smile, and he seems surprised, but nods with a softened upward curve to his once stiff upper lip. (She seems...older.) . She seems surprised (He seems...older.), but asks him to have a seat with her.

She asks how he has been. Have the years passed quickly, Sesshomaru?

They have not. But they have passed and I am still here.

Oh. Yes.

Silence grows, not uncomfortably, and their thoughts float like steam form their cups. Absorbing the...not-surprise, the not-longing. They both suppose that they should feel these things, but are not surprised when they do not. Suddenly, he speaks, a softer tone to his voice.

So this is where you belong, Kagome.

It is a statement, not a question. She seems surprised that he remembers her name, unsure of whether he is correct in his comment. She thinks for a moment. Another half smile.

Yes.

You should be hideous, you know. Men age better than women, after all--just because I retain my looks, does not mean that you would.

Full smile, and laughter--she is finally caught unawares. He has a sense of humor--very dry, deadpan, but it is there.

Watching her as she laughs, he gives another half smile, and stands up.

She stops laughing slowly, watches as he puts on his coat, and feels around for the hole in her heart. When she doesn't find it, asks:

Tomorrow, perhaps?

A raised eyebrow--familiar--but with his new (and old), softer eyes. Considering. Weighing.

A moment later, turns to leave. Her face shows nothing--no disappointment--though a shadow crosses the stormy seas of her eyes.

But he is turning again. Looks over his shoulder.

Tomorrow, then. Good bye, Kagome.

But she smiles, because she knows, this time, it isn't.

>*<

I stick loneliness, your lips

And the two coins of your eyes

Into my pockets.

Yeah.