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Phantasm by Yukari Youkai

The Dreams he has

"It is still, only a dream."

"Yes," she replied, her eyes bright with the stars, "but a dream I shall treasure."

--

I had found myself in an awkward situation. Here, with this Miko, in a field; near a lake; something called a park; a forest; icy tundra; a place amongst the stars... A plethora of places, never exactly the same, never the same place twice in succession.

But one thing was constant: Her.

Every dream, every place... I was always with the Miko.

Was it wrong to be having these dreams?

She and I were completely different, yet, when I dreamed...

Phantom caresses,

Silky laughter,

Sparkling eyes...

--

Sunlight flows slowly into the camp; the sun is up. She is rolling up her sleeping bag and rubbing the weariness from her eyes.

Nothing is different; she shows no sign of the dreams. Somehow, it pains me that I am the only one and yet...I feel I should grateful.

She kneels next to the river, splashing her face quickly and repeatedly.

This is her normal routine.

My half-brother is sleeping in a tree, snoring softly. I think he is too trusting; why else would he sleep, thinking –hoping- that I would not kill everyone in the camp while he slumbers?

Too much trust.

Maybe the Miko is wearing off on him.

I look towards the river bank... She is gone.

She's gone!

I make to rise and look after her when a rustling in the bushes alerts me to her presence. She stumbles into the camp with an armload of firewood, wide-awake and cautious. She warily makes her way among her sleeping teammates, -trying not to wake them one supposes-, and drops her burden by the cooling embers of last night's fire.

I watch her...curiously.

She makes the fire the way the taijya made it, without anything odd from her land, the way I am accustomed.

After the fire starts, she tosses a few logs onto it, and then washes her hands again. She gets up and crawls back under her bag and, winking impishly at me, goes back to sleep.

I blink once, stunned.

Some hours later, Inuyasha wakes up. I have tossed some logs on the fire; I hate seeing hard work go to waste.

He sees the fire and peers at me suspiciously for a moment, then continues on to wake his friends.

"Sango! Miroku! Shippo! KAGOME!!"

All but one shoots out of their sleep. The taijya blinks, looking around blearily with her hand on her sword, apparently battle-ready even when between awareness and sleep. The monk holds his staff in front of him defensively, notices no harm and relaxes. Shippo, the kitsune, is muttering under his breath about 'bossy half-demons'.

Inuyasha, luckily for both, does not notice. He, however, does notice that Kagome isn't awake. He stomps grouchily over to her. "KA-GO-MEEEEEHHHH!!!"

She waves him off and rolls over, apparently still sleeping.

A vein pulses rather dangerously in the hanyou's temple.

"I can't believe this!! Why won't she wake up? Stupid wench!!!"

A small voice whispers, just enough to be heard "Sit boy."

And so goes Inuyasha, face-first, into the ground. "Gaaaah..."

And so goes the morning...

--

Why am I traveling with them? With her?

I don't believe I know.

It began as a way to pass revenge upon Naraku.

And as a way to keep an eye on the Miko who had been plaguing my dreams.

Now... it's this.

"KAGOME!!!"

Kagome turned at the sound. "Shippou? What happened?"

"Inuyasha disappeared! He was supposed to be watching the fire, but now he's disappeared!!"

Kagome stood slowly, her breathing even. She glanced over to the rock where I sat "mediating", I stared back.

She sighed and looked at the sky. Her breath hitched and I looked up too.

Soul catchers.

She gulped and smiled bitterly, shaking her head gently.

"Shippou..."she began with a small smile, kneeling down to level with the kit, "Inuyasha's fine."

"How do you know?"

"I just know."

The kitsune pouted. "Kagome, you're lying."

"No Shippou, I'm not," She smiled and gathered him in her arms, pressing his ear where her heart should be, "Do you hear something?"

"....Um...Your heart?"

"Yes Shippou, my heart. It's still beating."

"But what does that have to do with anything?"

"Because....because if anything were to happen to Inuyasha....It would...it would...."

The kit paused, and then jumped out of Kagome's arms. "It's okay, I understand now."

She smiled a bittersweet smile as he skipped off and left her behind.

A beat.

"Sesshoumaru?"

Something became lodged in my throat. She waited for no answer.

"I think... I think I won't go home this time." Then she turned and smiled a smile wide and true, brave and sad at the same time.

It made my heart ache.

I wanted to tell her I'd be here, that I'd wait with her....but the words were impeded by the barricade in my throat.

Her smile did not falter. She nodded in respect to my silence and continued reading her 'textbook'.

Somehow, I felt I had failed her.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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