Damnit! by nb

Why?!

'Why, oh why, do I have to get myself into these predicaments all the time?'

This was probably going to be the last thing she would probably ever do, she decided.

The small glen she was in was glowing alight with an eerily dark pink, pulsing grotesquely like an over-swollen fruit.

It disgusted her, like her own idiocity, to have actually believed that the dead could indeed be capable of love, disgusted her right then.

But it was beautiful. In its own, sick way.

The coloring of the pink globe of tranparent light over her head was similar to that of her own shielding she had thrown up about herself minutes ago, until she had realized that it was

too late.

Too late for anything.

Though it was a similar color, it had always been slightly more on the 'coral' side of pink than Kagome's.

Her bitter laughter before she set the spell still pounded through her ears.

"Oh, you'll never understand what it was like to be shunned by people lower than you, being treated 'under' your status and everything you're supposed to be. I was born into a family just brimming to the full with witches. Yes, witches, like you and me! They found the aura of the Shikon no Tama in my mother's body even before I was conceived. They all tried to take me under their wing, and bring me up so that whatever shrine or temple they served would hold my power, my prestige,"

Kagome's eyes had widened at the sound of Kikyou's laughter, it was nothing like what it was supposed to be, only leaving the bitterness in its wake.

"'of the Guardian'. Well, their attitudes changed soon enough. I let go of my first 'pure' arrow when I was 14."

With that, Kikyou had pressed her forehead to Kagome's.

She was in a forest. She knew somehow that it wasn't supposed to be this dark. It just, wasn't.

Then she heard it.

The most horrifying sound she had ever heard. But that couldn't be. How could anyone, anything sound as if it were a large bag of sandpaper? And... It was dragging its

*feet?* in her direction. The smell was unbearable. It seemed as if its whole body was made up of rotten intestines, or...

She was about to scream. Anything, anything to get away from this creature.

Then she heard it, again. It... sounded as if imploring her. As if there were thousands of little voices scraping across her mind. Her soul.

It was!

She didn't know how she knew or heard, but it couldn't be otherwise. The creature in front of her was asking her to

*free it?*

an almost imperceptible nod, and it was upon her.

Yes, she could finally understand this creature's pleas. This person was once a woman, torn by love. Her heart had been broken by some unfeeling man, and she had taken

to her own death. But alas, it was not a peaceful death that awaited her. She had only wished for a way out, whether it be hell or heaven. The sins of her mate--mate?!

who would call one's lover a 'mate'?-- were to manacle her to the lands she had so despised, hoping only for freedom, for the day she could finally take flight from her damned

existence. Those of the weaker souls her mate had killed had clung to her, her with his scent all over her, with a vengeance. Her spirit form should have been able to shake

them off. But her heart had been weary in her death, leaving her weak and lost, without the clear path to the skies her sort were granted upon death--what is this 'path'? it

almost looks like... a stairway to heaven-- . She had been dragged down to earth, and no longer having the energy nor the willpower to fight them off, she had submerged

under the spirits. She had become what she was now, a crawling opject of many spirits, devouring all and any that came her way. The only way out for her was...

Hell.

Still, the once gracefull being requested it. With all her heart. Whatever her misgivins about her mate, whatever small hate she had born for him and his wrongdoings

which had, in the end, sealed her fate, she had had a pure soul. She could not bear the hunger which drove her to the horrors she had accomplished, and nor could she bear

the evil deeds done to sate that hunger. The other spirits tried to drown her out, but Kikyou had heard her last plea.

All the years of practice she had gone through was to be put to test. Now, finally. Her aunts had always told her that those chosen by the Gods were only put to test by

the Gods, when and as they chose, only allowing her to learn through watching her aunts perform various acts of healing and purifiying.

She drew her bow out of the 'seam' she felt in the earth. She called on wind and fire for her arrow.

She called on the Gatepersons of the Yellow River, spouting from its spring of golden-yellow waters, forbidden to all living things, to come for what was rightfully theirs.

And...

It was forbidden, yes, but before any other rule, she was supposed to help those in need. Kikyou was not going to let that proud one suffer any longer.

She called on a demon from beyond the River.

After loosening her arrow, she sank into oblivion...

knowing she might have called the greatest calamity possible upon herself. She had called for the most powerful, the most supreme amongst those of the Underworld. A

God in status, the demon was called the Holder of the Keys, the Old One. He was the most feared amongst mikos as it was He who held the most power over the world on the other side of the River, and reigned over his lands so cruelly, so utterly without purpose that his lands, once called the 'Ji(Land) of Goku' were renamed 'JiGoku(Hell)'. So much, that they hid his presence from the normal population, along with other facts. Such as the fact that there were those special mikos who were handpicked by the Gods as their 'pickings', who would stay dormant of her powers nad tasks until the God who had chosen her decided to trigger whatever fate He, or She had set for her.

That Kikyou was to learn the reason of this secrecy so soon, could only be called a cruel fate. But considering the cruelty of the God who had Made her His, perhaps it

was only natural.

Only to be waken up harshly by her sister. 'Why is she being so, uncaring, as if she7s in a hurry? Or is she...?'

Her best friend, her older sister was a down-to-earth person, and she had her mood-swings, but... "What's wrong?"

With that, her sister lost it.

"What's wrong? Oh, you know what's wrong. You called up the Old One himself! If we had known you were of 'His' picking, who would ever had even thought about

teaching you, let alone keeping you under one's roof!" she took a deep breath and started again. "Oh, I know that the ideas of all powerful mikos being 'Someone's picking'

is very silly, but..."

Kikyou coukdn't understand what she was talking about. 'I may have called up the biggest fish in the pond, but what's with auntie about the 'Old One himself' and 'His'

picking?'

Her sister started to mutter. "...you can't possibly be anything else. Even that so-called Shikon no Tama is but proof of that. Can't you see? Such power would only

ensue chaos, even in as good hands as yours. Perhaps even more so. But that could only be wished for by the Holder of the Keys."

She picked up onece again, "You know how superstitious those fluttery, smiling bats can get, back at the Main House? Rumors of this are going to spread all the way

back home and nobody, not even the Gueardian herself will be spared if...!"

She calmed down and said warmly, "I know you, girl, and I know you're a good one" with that, she smiled faintly "but that's not going to save you from the rest of them"

Kikyou's eyes widened. Her sister was currently packing her a small pack of clothes and extra waterskins, and her tools and what must be half her sister's fortune!

"Now, don't stare at me like tha, you silly mugwump you, for I haven't got the time this time" her sister made as if to kaugh ather own pun, but stopped midway. Her tone

suddenly serious, "I don't doubt you did that for someone else, and I know you can't help it you happen to be one of the strongest mikos in the country, but as I said that's

not going to save you. Now,"

Kikyou cut in quickly. "What do you mean it won't 'save' me? What happened out there?"

"I don't know. I only know that there was a great burst of light, *your* light, and a great cloud of darkness, as if to counter your light and..." she held her hands

helplessly, "they merged. In a great billow of the" in a whisper "yellow smoke."

Kikyou sighed in relief.

Her sister glared at her. "Oh, I knew it! My stupid sister*had* to go and save something not worth saving! And not satisfied with simply putting whatever it was to

sleep as she could have done, she *had* to throw away her whole life, career" her sister was crying, now, "by going to all the trouble of *tainting* her soul with her

Maker" Kikyou grabbed her hand at that, "and leaving me all alone."

"What did you just say?"

"What?"

"About being tainted."

"Oh,"

"Tell me!"

Her sister had a sad look on her face. "Look for yourself, Kikyou."

So she did.

Kikyou screamed.