| Ok, you seem to have a good plot to this fic, but there is no emotion, no description other then, "they walked" "they spoke", and this leaves people confused and very interested.
elvira- Wed 06 Feb 2008
holy shit!...ten pups!....
damn they were busy...lol
Sesshle- Wed 06 Feb 2008
| You really should not put ever time. Kagome's/Sesshoumaru's/third POV. It get annoying. Find a better way to do it. It needs to transition with ease more or less. I think you have a good idea going, just how you are writing needs work.
danny- Wed 06 Feb 2008
| aww that was so cute i like it keep up the good work
Not bad but am not a huge fan of songfic its bit a turn off for me , and your POV is kinda confusing yes i know you have 3rd person POV which make it confusing for me . Anyway am not saying your story is horrble and am telling you its not .
Just be careful with the 3rd person point view . but thanks for uploading your work .
Sommer
Not bad but am not a huge fan of songfic its bit a turn off for me , and your POV is kinda confusing yes i know you have 3rd person POV which make it confusing for me . Anyway am not saying your story is horrble and am telling you its not .
Just be careful with the 3rd person point view . but thanks for uploading your work .
Sommer
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