you mean well,and you're good at conversations,but it seems you try too hard and there's no easy flow in the story.it lacks something,but i am not sure what at the moment.
but you do deserve credit for doing something better than me,so it's okay.

Ok one thing you need to do is put alot more spaces in your story, because it can be really hard to read for some people and it makes people not want to read the story. Your story is fantastic and I can't wait to read more. So I hope you keep up the job well done and try and update asap please.

If i told you this story was Amazing, awesome and wonderful...i would be lying.........................................THis.................StOry..........iS..................................PERFECT................


so far....hehe. Update!!! I'll be waiting!

interesting story so far, i can't wait to hear what kagome's wish from the jewel is and also can't wait to hear about the future too!
Great work, keep it up!

Good so far, I've never seen someoen kill off Jaken

I am interested to see how your story progresses. great start so far. keep up the great work ^_^.

more ch

I think you have a very good idea going there. butthe ine thiong I have to say is it would be better if you double space you story. That way it would be easier to read. But other than that you have caught my attion. Oh and a FYI A-Un he has a lighting for a breath weapon. Can't wait for more chapters. Hope to see it soon

Cool really it's just that leave separate spaces so that your readers understand what the characters are saying but above all, Awesome job!


K_I_B