i think you story is good. but you need to make the story LONGER i mean this is only a Paragraph so please type longer chapters and update soon or i will cry

OMG I did not see that coming!
anyway I think you should make your chappys a little longer and you should put in a tiny bit more detail~
and with passtense....and stuff...
anyway Hope you update soon!

is that it? it is good, just make longer chapters. it the story complete???

????? I s that all there is to the first chapter? I think it's good but just a suggestion from a fellow reighter if you wnat to keep intrest make your chapters longer then one paragraph Ohter hten that awseome cliff hanger

LOL um Sesshomaru do you have a fever LOL. Hey can't wait to see more chapters.

Awesome but don't ya think that 108 words is too little for a chapter...? I'm only saying to make it longer thats all thankz for listening!