| UPDATE PLZ I REALLI LIKE THE IDEAAA
Critic_At_Work- Wed 15 Nov 2006
| Well, you should get a beta-reader to edit your stories and give you ideas. The story is a little fast, and when Kagome visits her father's grave and says she's a goth, you make it sound like being a goth is a bad thing. You probably are okay with goths, but understand that someone who is actually goth like I am, might take it the wrong way and as an offense because of the way you worded it. So all in all, your story needs a lot of work.
Slm_Candle- Wed 15 Nov 2006
| cool
kagomesimmortal- Wed 15 Nov 2006
| pretty good, accept the name hatsumomo is from Memoirs of a Geisha I think. But very good, keep going!
Megan Consoer- Wed 15 Nov 2006
| I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
Koishii- Wed 15 Nov 2006
Well... the idea so far is really good. I enjoyed it. You should however look into a beta reader for things such as small grammatical errors, and forgotten punctuation just so that the story will be easier to read and understand. Also, the chapter seemed a bit rushed, espcially toward the end.
Other than those few things it seems like it will be a really good story :D
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