| well i liked the first chapter but it really needs some work on grammer stuff, and i think it should be longer. The story has a lot of potential that you can play around with. Good luck I can't wait for the update.
Michelle- Thu 21 Sep 2006
HEY HEY!!! You were suppose to let me beta it... I didn't know you POSTED!!! Gah!... anyway... it needs to be a little bit longer and put spaces in between stuff and make paragraphs... LET ME BETA... Im good at it...
Anyway...
TTYL... literally!!
BYE!
sesshoumarus babe- Thu 21 Sep 2006
| hey I loved the first chapter hope you update soon and have a nice day!!!!
are-en1- Thu 21 Sep 2006
| Either you are too lazy or you are too lazy.Anyway it was a good start and as been sugested,you should put space and all,awanyway I see the potential this fic gonna be.How bout the next chap makes Kag's met Inu with Sess around.And then Sess say something like "Was fucking in the phone.... fingering your hot stuff pussy,imagine I'm plasuring you with my hot tounge in your G spot makes you turn on and wish me there to fuck you hard until you faint?" and Kagome embaress when she know is Sess that she was talking too and how it will effect Inu and Kags relationship batter.Is just a sugestion.Still is up 2 u =)
FAL- Wed 20 Sep 2006
| Have you ever thought about putting spaces in between thoughts and sentences? It would make it easier to read, But other then that it was awesome Plz Update!!!
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