AN: I do not own Inuyasha or "Memories" by Within Temptation.
In this world you tried
Not leaving me alone behind.
There's no other way.
I prayed to the gods let him stay.
The memories ease the pain inside,
Now I know why.
Kagome stood from her kneeling position by the grave marker. This bitter cold winter day marked the anniversary of his death. One hundred years later and she could still remember every last detail of how her heart died.
Humans were multiplying. Youkai were dying out. They were getting desperate. They wanted the sacred jewel. On this cold winter night Kagome had finally convinced her mate to take her out with him on his patrol. There was little to do in the winter and she'd been bored and craving attention from him.
It had all happened so fast. One moment they were walking through a beautiful glade and in the next she was bathed in blood, his and theirs. None of it was hers and still she felt as if she were dying. She alone carried him back to their home. She'd laid him down on their bed of pristine white sheets and climbed in next to him. She cried silent tears as he bled and he breathed unevenly. After all that he was still fighting for her.
"Kagome," his deep drawl had become a shaky rasp. She tried to shush him, but he wouldn't have it.
"You will not order me to be quiet woman," his voice belied his weakness. "I will not leave you. Do you understand me? I AM NOT LEAVING YOU BEHIND!" His declaration sent him into a fit of coughs that even had Kagome lurching from her hold on him. He was so cold and still she held on, still they held on. She knew the moment he'd stopped breathing, the moment his soul had left him. The declaration and coughing fit had used the last of his strength.
"But you never lie," she cried out into the night. "Why did you have to choose now to lie? WHY!" She sobbed until the morning came. When the suns rays hit her body, Kagome raised her face to take in the blue crescent moon, the magenta markings, the aristocratic features.
"I love you, my Lord Sesshomaru." And she could swear her heart had stopped beating.
A century had passed since that night. One hundred years she'd been alone. She couldn't have put anyone else through that just for her. She wished she could have died, but it was impossible. The jewel had been returned to her body and she would live until the end of time as its guardian. Nothing could ever kill her, no matter how the heartache tortured her.
"There's no other way," she whispered to his grave. She looked up at the starless sky then. She prayed then. She prayed as she should have prayed that night. Let him stay. Time could not take his grave away. She refused to let it take away the only thing she had left of him. My memories of him ease the pain.
All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
It was sunny out today. The first chirps of springs birds made her smile. She was sitting under a tree a rare treat after her travels. It had now been months since she'd visited Sesshomaru's grave and she could still feel him there with her. In the quiet peace she found in this clearing she could imagine him. She called up a memory of them with Rin. They were playing hide and seek. Rin was searching for them while she and Sesshomaru hid. She chose to sit at the base of a tree much as she was doing at that moment. From the squeal that sounded through the forest she knew he'd decided to go easy on Rin. In the next moment he'd wrapped his arms around her. I found you.
The memories kept him near and in that moment they were so vivid she could feel him there. She could remember the morning he'd held her close whispering the story of how he'd met Rin. Silent tears ran down his cheeks as others mourned loudly. They were one day late to visit Rin because of a surprise attack for the Shikon jewel. One day too late to visit Rin on her 70th birthday. She'd passed away in her sleep during the night.
Made me promise I'd try
To find my way back in this life.
I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're ok.
Reminds me again it's worth it all
So I can go on.
"Miko," he drawled. Kagome's head snapped up at his tone. The only time ever behaved this way was when there was a serious matter at hand.
"Yes, Sesshomaru?" He swept into the room and lifted her from the futon. He held her close, stroking her hair and breathing in her scent.
"Promise this Sesshomaru. If anything ever were to happen to me, try to find your way back to normal in this eternal life the kami have given you," he ordered. She could only nod at the intensity in his voice and hold.
That had been a week before he passed. He'd known something.
There was no point in thinking of that now. Kagome sighed as she looked at the sunset. It had been a hot summer day; too hot for her to even consider doing any traveling. She gave another sigh as she continued with her thoughts. It was as if today her mind was drowned in thoughts of him. She'd even thought of the night he'd died and the night he forced her to make that promise. Now, that she thought about it she understood that he hadn't lied.
"I hope there's away for me to find about him," she mumbled to the orange and crimson horizon. She knew that she was probably breaking her promise. She had been alone since he'd died. All she did was travel alone and think of him. Nope, not normal. But how could she be normal without at least knowing he was okay out there. Wherever he is.
She wanted… no needed to have the sign that he was okay in the afterlife. She closed her eyes as a breeze blew. When something brushed her cheek her eyes snapped open. With wide eyes she carefully caught one of the sakura blossoms that floated past her on the breeze. There were no trees around for miles in this rocky mountain valley. So where did… The image of Sesshomaru smiling down at her flashed through her mind when she blinked.
Together in all these memories
I see your smile.
All the memories I hold dear.
Darling, you know I will love you
Until the end of time.
Cresting the hill Kagome couldn't believe their old home was still there. She smiled as she remembered coming over this hill centuries ago. Only then they had been together. She could still see his smile. Welcome home mate. Kagome ran all the way to the castle. All her dearest memories were there and she just had to get there. She didn't know why but she just to get there. She burst through the front doors half excepting to see him there or feel the brush of him youki. Nothing.
That didn't upset her. She walked around feeling at peace. Because with all these memories he is near. She found his old study and for the first time ever opened the door without knocking. She brushed her fingers along the dusty desk top and imagined him sitting there. She knew exactly what she would tell him if he were sitting there right at that moment.
"Darling you know I will love you," she spoke the words.
"Until the end of time," a voice drawled out in her ear.
Kagome whipped around so fast she could have sworn she'd given herself whiplash. No one was there.
All of my memories keep you near.
In silent moments imagine you here.
All of my memories keep you near.
Your silent whispers, silent tears.
There she was again. One hundred one years later, she stood at the grave marker outside their home. She was being haunted by his memory. Still, she couldn't stay away.
"Kagome."
"Even now I'm being haunted," she whispered to the wind. It carried with it silent whispers of her name with his voice. She cried silent tears then.
"Miko." Kagome's heart stopped. She looked up from her prayer.
All of my memories...
Sessomaru smiled down at her.
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