I've been wanting to write something for this pairing once more for a very very long.
This was written for the livejournal comm prompt_in_a_box and despite the fact that I babbled and angsted in it like a preteen drama queen, I think it's not half bad. xDD
Second Chances
by Royal blueKitsune
Kagome had decided that love wasn't for her.
It was probably one of those split-second decisions that stupid people made in moments of despair - that sooner or later they were strong enough to overcome - but, lying at the bottom of the well with only darkness to comfort her, made it seem really really appealing.
Naraku was dead. The Shikon was gone. The wish she'd made had ensured that everyone who had been someone in her life had either gotten revenge or a loved one back. When she'd been taken from the Feudal Era - rather forcefully - happiness had seemed a tangible thing that could be plucked from the air around her with bare hands.
Pity she hadn't gotten any of her own. A doggy-package would have been nice after so many years of devotion and struggle.
Kagome stifled a giggle and wondered if the trip back had addled something in her brain. Permanently.
Doggy...dog...Inuyasha...Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru Sesshoumaru Sesshoumaru. The overbearing egotist for whom she'd been ready to give up her era, her family and her cozy, comfy modern life with it's accessible privileges.
Kagome heard the beginning of tears in her despondent sigh and wondered if it would do her any good to let them fall.
How could it be that she'd managed to 'luck out' in such a way as to consecutively fall for two men who didn't want her? And from the same family to boot.
Maybe she was damaged?
In the beginning, it had been Inuyasha. Arrogant, misunderstood Inuyasha who'd tried to kill her after she'd released him from the Goshinboku.
She'd fallen for him, he hadn't and she'd ended being in love and disappointed instead of in love and happy...first loves, she'd heard, more often than not ended that way. Still, it had been devastating, heart-breaking, sad and a bunch of other synonyms that she couldn't think of now.
Kagome was a bit annoyed at how 'she had, he hadn't' managed to sum up all almost two years of pining for him.
Kouga had been a sort of...in-between. Though she hadn't realized that there would be a follow-up to Inuyasha.
He'd loved her, given up for her - innumerable things - and she'd never been able to see him as anything more than a friend.
Kagome was sure that he was annoyed as well by the 'he had, she hadn't; formula...but she preferred not to dwell on it too much. Guilt was not a pretty feeling...
In the end (end end) it had been Sesshoumaru.
Kagome snorted derisively to herself even though she was aware of the hot tears streaming down her face.
She hadn't really planned or even thought of planning to fall in love with him of all people...demons...cold-blooded killers. Oh, bother.
Sesshoumaru had been far off on her list of peop...dem...bother...waaaaay after after Jinenji but, admittedly, eons before Naraku himself.
Safe to say she hadn't really found his human-hating, indiscriminate killing and overly large ego too attractive. Stupidly pretty hair that was prettier than hers didn't count. Neither did eyes that captured the sun...and she definitely didn't think anything much of those stripes that seemed to curve just about everywhere on his body (though what everywhere entitled had been left to her over-active imagination...not).
So what had she done? Kagome snorted again, only this time she made it sound more like a strangled hiccup.
She'd waited for him to join their group so they could all defeat Naraku and then she'd gone and fallen in love with him too. In the same questionable way she'd fallen for Inuyasha - she'd discovered that there was more to him than he showed freely and she'd gathered the last shreds of her whole heart, much like the jewel that usually resided in her breast, and pushed them tentatively towards him.
And Sesshoumaru had taken considerate care to trample on them as best as he could. Not for another woman like his brother had done, but because she wasn't enough woman for him. Youkai woman that was.
At least, Kagome assumed that it was her lack of youkai heritage that had made her unworthy of him first and foremost. Sesshoumaru wasn't exactly the forthcoming type of guy when it came to...anything.
She supposed she couldn't blame him, really, for not loving her back though. Love was something that happened not something that was forced.
Kagome had known that all along...
...
Oh God! She WAS damaged! In more than one way.
She loved all the wrong guys, didn't begrudge them for being idiots and pushed out all the good guys.
Yuka would call her a loser magnet without blinking.
Kagome laughed, choked on her tears and desperately brought her hands up to cover her face.
Really, love wasn't for her. At least love for youkai. Maybe she could try with a nice human this time around?
Hojo's smiling, trusting face flashed through her mind's eye and Kagome grimaced darkly, remembering just how well she'd managed to mess up that budding relationship too.
Maybe she should just try to stay away away from it for a few more years...about a thousand seemed appropriate to heal her broken heart at the moment. Kagome rolled over and gingerly pushed her body up, all the while ignoring the scratches, bruises and minor injuries that still littered her body after the last battle with Naraku.
He hadn't managed to do anything too serious though, Kagome laughed a little like sobbing, Sesshoumaru had whisked her from harm's sake everytime. How ironic was that?
She could've mistaken it for love, the miko thought wincing as mind-numbing pain traveled up her arm from her wrist sprain, were it not for the fact that he'd made it clear to her that she was beneath his notice.
Several times actually.
He'd actually enforced it to Naraku once as well. Two years ago, Kagome would've thought that such a vehement no was only a ruse to hide the definite yes he was too proud to admit.
At nineteen years - now - she was too tired to try and look beneath the pretenses and make excuses. Her whole body throbbed as she climbed the the small latter her mother had put for her convenience and all she wanted was to collapse in her warm bed and sleep for a week. If Sesshoumaru wanted to let her know what he thought, he could wait for her 500 years, come to her in this era and declare himself loud and clear. With a nice little apology on the side.
Kagome sniffed primly.
Yeah, right. And she was the strongest miko in history. Ha ha.
The air inside the well house was stale and thick with fading magic, but at least it was fresher. Closer to life.
The young miko nearly fell over the rim of the well and crashed into her face in her rush to get out. The tears were dry now, but her eyes were still misty from her earlier bout of crying.
"Stupid, hic, well," Kagome muttered miserably, wondering if she looked as worse as she sounded.
She would have to be careful on her way out, lest she accidentally stumbled upon some innocent tourists...again. It had been hard enough to make those Englishwomen understand that she wasn't a ghost last time; and she hadn't looked half as bad as she did now.
And her family...didn't need to know the full extent of it either.
Stopping in front of her door, she arranged her hair (tried to), erased the smudges of dirt from her cheeks and the tears from her eyes (tried to) and pulled up the half of her shirt that was threatening to fall of her shoulder and leave her even more naked than she was.
The skirt was beyond repair unfortunately.
"...of my way."
Kagome's heart shrank.
Someone was outside. Someone not of her family. Groan. And she'd so hoped that she wouldn't have to explain her appearance to anyone...
"You are not welcome here! Begone!"
Kagome frowned. Whoever it was, her grandfather didn't have to be so rude! With a steadier gait than she could've given herself credit, Kagome shuffled forward and pulled the doors open, peeking out into the courtyard curiously.
And nearly fell on her face again.
Sesshoumaru was standing in her front yard, arguing with her grandfather and looking suspiciously like he was holding back from hurting the old man.
Sesshoumaru. Here
Oh God, Kagome thought, struggling to swallow past the lump in her throat. Her condition was worse than she'd thought. She was actually hallucinating. She was probably still on the bottom of the well where she'd hit her head and her brain was making up the haughty scenario of Sesshoumaru coming to her to apologize.
She pulled back sharply, closed her eyes and counted to three...then ten...then 20. She stopped when she realized that she might as well be counting sheep because Sesshoumaru's voice was clear in her ears.
Still there.
Her breathing wheezed out sharply even as she practically threw herself against the doors once more to peek out.
"Move aside old man or I will move you. My business is with Kagome." Sesshoumaru growled, upper lip curling ever so slightly.
Kagome was sure that her heart had just done a triple flip in her chest. An all new record for her.
"And I am telling you demon, I will purify you here and now! One half-demon setting foot in this house is more than enough. I won't allow my granddaughter to bring home any more of your kind!"
Con - Sesshoumaru had not heard her even though she was making so much noise that even his father probably heard her from his grave!
She had to be dreaming! His senses never missed anything!
Con #2 - Sesshoumaru had just said her name. Not miko, bitch, girl, offensive woman or wench...she'd wanted to hear him say it since forever! But it still counted as a sign that .dreaming!
Pro - Armani. A sleek, black Armani suit and a samurai topknot.
He would totally wear something like that.
Kagome told herself that despite the fact that she didn't hate him, she was still holding onto her anger at him for being so terribly highhanded and that she wasn't at all swooning at how mouth-watering he still looked after 500 ye-...
...damn. Busted. She was angry at him! SHE WAS!
She threw the doors open so hard that they nearly flew off their hinges.
Pro - Sesshoumaru stiffened and turned to look at her as if she'd darted bolts of purity at him. Con...she'd probably managed to break her wrist by this point and the zing of pain made her feel faint.
"Kagome!" Her grandfather called, half happiness, half worry at her state of dress.
She glared at Sesshoumaru and hoped he caught fire. Unfortunately, Sesshoumaru always had a way of dashing her hopes so Kagome wasn't really surprised that he wasn't ashes by now.
Kagome lifted her chin defiantly.
"Why did you come here?"
"Kagome."
"If you came to see if I managed to break my neck when I was pulled into the well, I didn't!"
"Kagome!"
"If you came to make your point again, you don't need to worry because I decided I'm better off without falling in love. If you came to gloat that you're alive after so many years then, ha, so am I! If..."
"Kagome." Sesshoumaru hissed, effectively stopping her self-righteous rant. "Enough."
All the fight went out of her as if his command had pushed the right buttons. Her grandfather was looking at her like she'd admitted to eating squirrels for breakfast and Sesshoumaru's gaze was comprised of the strangest mix of frustration and burning...something...and Kagome was too exhausted, achy and just tired of caring that she almost didn't want to know what was going on through his mind now.
Her knees gave out from underneath her but there was too little energy in her to tell the arrogant demon off when he appeared out of nowhere and pulled her into his arms as if she were lightweight.
Her grandfather was squawking indignities from somewhere, beyond her point of view, and Kagome couldn't tell if she wanted to second him or sink further into Sesshoumaru's embrace and just let the world disappear.
She'd been a little crazy for a long long time now but, obviously, present Sesshoumaru had lost it completely during the 500 years she hadn't seen him. There was no other excuse for the fact that he was touching a lowly human like her without any killing intention.
"This is a dream." Oh God..she was sobbing. In front of him. Her humiliation was extreme. Sesshoumaru would probably never let her live it down.
"You are not thinking straight." He murmured in her ear, nuzzling her hair...which in turn made her cry harder because she was almost positive that she was dreaming. "You are tired, injured and stressed. It is unacceptable."
"Damn right," she sobbed harder, beating her fist into his chest as hard as she could. "First it was Inuyasha. Then it was you. Both of you conspired to turn me into a raving, mad, miko!"
His claws were digging lightly in her forearm but other than that, Sesshoumaru was quiet and stiff against her. Kagome thought that he was probably plotting of ways to kill her without staining his perfect, stupid suit.
"What? Five hundred years didn't teach you how to apologize?" She asked snidely, wondering why he didn't just drop her so she could wake up already and crawl out of that blasted well.
"Forgive me."
Kagome clung to him lest she fell while sitting down.
"Excuse me?" She asked incredulously, wondering if all her wishful thinking was making her hear things.
Above her, Sesshoumaru set his jaw and stared her down as if willing her to understand his silence. He didn't seem inclined to repeat himself if his hard, unyielding stare was anything to go by.
"What are you apologizing for?" Kagome asked wanting to stop the roller coaster of emotions that was set on an infinite loop inside her brain but unable to get past that something that still lingered behind his citrine colored eyes.
"For being young." And stupid. "For not understanding my father sooner." For hurting you. "It will not happen again." This time I will make it right.
Kagome heard his words - and his silence - and wondered if sooner had managed to give way to later while she'd been gone (during the two hours that had actually been half a millennia) and if maybe...just maybe...
...her resolution to give up love was nothing more than something stupid people made in moments of despair that sooner or later they were strong enough to overcome.
"You have a lot of work to do even start getting into my good graces." Kagome told him warily, still afraid that all this was a misunderstanding and that she'd end up thrown in the dust at any given moment.
A heartbeat, then another...
Sesshoumaru nodded curtly, keeping her gaze with his as if to prove his sincerity, and turned towards her house with sure steps, his arms tightening around her minutely. As if to communicate his gratitude towards her.
Behind them, her grandfather seemed to come out of his stupor and his squawking only resumed with more vigor. Granddaughter, demon, evil and unacceptable being some of his favorite terms...
Kagome didn't bother agreeing or disagreeing anymore. She simply pressed her face into Sesshoumaru's shirt and listened to the sound of a heart that wasn't as empty as she'd believed once
Well, it didn't matter...if all turned well she would fill the void like she'd dreamed during all those nights spent under the starry sky of the Feudal Era. And of course, he'd do the same.
For the first time since the well had pulled her back, Kagome smiled without bitterness, tears or sadness.
Sooner for her, later for him was better than not at all for either she supposed.
Drama, check. Angsting, check. Moderately satisfied royalbk for having made a come back - check!