Summary: Sesshoumaru finds a Lost Ship with a weird AI. Antics ensue! Sess/Kag. XOver with Lost Universe. BEWARE: Written for drjmaxwell and forthrightly's Badfic Challenge. Read at your own peril!
AN:I'd like to add that this really is my first lemon. Such a shame that it's so terrible. XD Also, thanks to willitwork and eurkos for being muses.
Warnings: Nothing is good in this fic. I mean it. Bad spelling, grammar, crossover, plot, characterization, lemon, metaphors, ending, etc.
Originally Published April 5, 2008.
***************************
SHUNK!
The door to the half-buried spaceship on the desert asteroid slid open. "Finally," Sesshoumaru thinks as he enters the ship. "I have found the Lost Ship Bakusaiga, my father's last remaining legacy." His foolish little half-brother inherited the psy-blade Tetsusaiga, and Sesshoumaru was given Tenseiga, which didn't cut anything but tickled people instead. But now he has a ship made with ancient technology, and he intends to blast his brother to little pieces with it.
"What's up with the boa?" Sesshoumaru spun around at the sound of the girl's voice and got ready to attack the intruder. She has long, wavy, black tresses, plump, pink lips, and glittering blue orbs that danced merrily as they looked at him. She was wearing a short green skirt with knee-high socks and a white top with a sailor tie on it. She had curves in all the right places, from her plump, juicy mounds down to her rounded cheeks. The demon felt a tightening in his groin just looking at her, even though she had no scent. He expected her to smell like jasmine, or citrus, or lilies, or the wind rustling through the trees of an evergreen forest. But she doesn't have a scent at all, and he decided he liked that, because humans smelt bad after they've been soundly smexed.
"Wench. This Sesshoumaru does not wear a boa." He sniffs disdainfully at her.
She stomped her foot on the ground. "I have a name you know!" she yells. "It's Kagome. Ka. Go. Me." She folds her arms and glares at him.
"This Sesshoumaru could care less." Sesshoumaru decided that his father's legacy isn't worth the aggrivation and turns around to walk out the door, but it closes and he bumps into it.
"Ha!" she says in victory. "You can't leave unless I let you. I'm the ship's AI."
"You will release this Sesshoumaru this instance."
"I won't, so there nya." She sticks her tongue out at him. He lunches and takes a swipe at her but his poison claws pass right through her tummy and the floor sizzles where the poison hit it.
"I'm a holograph, BAKA," she huffs. "And stop melting my floors."
"YOUR floors?" he said in disbelief.
"Yes MY floors. I'm the ship, you know."
"There's no way a stupid ship like this could possibly be a Lost Ship," he says grumpily.
"It wasn't one until I got sent here," Kagome said. "It took me a hundred years to straiten it up."
He raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her, so she continued. "I was originaly part of Kikyou, the AI for the Shikon no Spaceship, one of the most powerful Lost Ships ever made. But Dark Star managed to infect her with the Naraku virus so she had to separate the infected part and quarantine it. I managed to fight off the virus, but my personality changed to be less of a bitch so Kikyou wouldn't re-merge with me. She sent me here instead. I fixed the ship."
Sesshoumaru wonders why his father disliked him so much that he left a crappy spaceship with no AI to him, while his brother got the good psy-blade. And he also had possession of the Shikon no Spaceship too, with the probably much more sane AI. That was why Sesshoumaru needs the Bakusaiga to defeat his brother.
"You know," the girl said coyly, running her fingers thru her silky hair, "if this ship belongs to you, than that means I'm yours too."
Sesshoumaru felt his beast stir. He watched as her skirt got shorter and shorter, and her shirt tighter and tighter until her melons almost burst from the seams. "Your mine," he growled low in his throat before he pounced on her.
She wasn't solid before but she is now, and they both toppled to the hard metal floor. She smirked at his obvious confused look.
"Light can be waves or particles," Kagome said. "Right now I'm all particles. Its called hard light."
"I'll give you hard," Sesshoumaru grunted, thrusting his engorged bulge against my hips, and I groan with pleasure. I could feel him through my panties and I wished that they were off. "Oh yes," I pant. "Give it to me."
Sesshoumaru unzipped his pants and his turgid tuber sprung forth, it's head swelled and seeping with anticipation. Kagome's mouth ran dry for a moment before she remembered that she was an AI and could look however she wants, and suddenly her close disappear. Her own honeypot was weeping with dew, and Sesshoumaru grabs her thighs and pulls her up to his lips to taste her sweet ambrosia.
"OOHHHHHH YEAAHHH," Kagome moans, kneading her breasts and pinching at they're aching buds. Sesshoumaru moves to insert a finger into her love passage, but then he notices somethign is wrong.
"Where's the other whole, wench?" he snarls as he thrusts a clawed finger inside her.
"I wasn't programmed with one," she gasped. "And don't call me wench."
He pushed her sensitive nubby with the pad of his thumb and she cried out, her channel pulsing around his finger and tongue like a rave full of emo kids tripping on LSD. He snarled loudly as his beast fights for control and his eyes bleeded to red. He had to be in her NOW.
He flipped her onto her hands and knees and thrusts his throbbing manroot into her moist cavern. "OHHHH, SESSHOUMARU," she gorans loudly with pleasure. "YOUR SO BIG!" He growls with approval and nuzzles her neck as he pumped in and out of her portal of pleasure. She could feel a heat pooling in her belly, and then suddenly his seed sack hit her nerve-packed love button and she saw stars as her body shattered into bliss, shuddering like machine-gun recoil.
Sesshoumaru felt her explode and quiver around his tumescent member. "OH, FUCK KAGOME," he howled as he erupted his hot lava into her chasm, it's searing heat flowing down her thighs.
The dog demon woke up with a gasp, breathing heavy from the exertions in his dream. He thinks over it's events and says, "Clearly, I ate too much chocolate last night." He frowns at the pitched tent of his sheets, sighs, and gets up to find Jaken. It looks like he would have to relieve his frustrations on the toad again.