She will never know. In fact, she must never know. She must never know that he haunts her every step, he knows her every breath. Every noise that she makes.
When she sits down to read her scandalous romance novels, and she thinks no one is around, he is there watching her. He is the silent protector that she never knew was there, the one who warded off her nightmares. She must never know that he loves her more than the air he breathes. More than life it self.
She must never know. To her, Sesshomaru is a monster. A blight on humanity. Little does she know that it is he that keeps her human. When the evils of the world come to take her away, he fights them off.
He is her unknown shelter. Her protection against the horrors and injustices of the world. He is the strong gaze that watches her constantly, but she does not know that he is there watching her.
Watching her with his deep amber eyes. Always there just watching. Even though he wishes to do so much more, and he does wish and dream.
He dreams of the ancient dance between two persons. He dreams that he is her partner in that forbidden dance. He dreams until his body cries out for completion, completion that will never come. So he must go off to find some other way to relieve the ache, the burn.
But she is the only salve that will heal his burns. He turns away many. Many far more beautiful than she, but their outer beauty cannot compare to her inner beauty. He knows it cannot be, so he contents himself with watching and protecting her.
He protects her from the imaginary eyes that lurk about when she cleanses herself. At least that is what he tells himself, every time he gazes at her perfect body, unmarred by life. Save for a single scar on her right hip. Yes he knows her. Her every imperfection. He knows about that little mole on her left shoulder, and he knows how many freckles dart across her pert nose.
He watches as hands that are not his own roam over her body, and wishes that they were his hands touching her. He wishes he was was the one bringing those sounds from her. But it was never meant to be.
He wonders if it is some kind of punishment from heaven. That he would desire the one thing that he could not have. The one thing that he desired more than anything in the world.
"It must be divine punishment," he thinks as his hand roams over his heated flesh. "It must be punishment," he thinks even as he silently groans at the scene playing out before him. As he imagines it is her hand that ghosts over his flesh. Her soft delicate hand instead of his calloused one. He listens to her cry of completion, and he groans as well.
Then he leaves. Disgusted with himself and spent from his activities.
He must go home soon. Back to the western lands.
He has a mate now.
A pretty demure creature with midnight hair and blue eyes. But her sky-blue depths could never compare to Kagome's sapphire orbs. No, never. He almost pities the girl, for he knows that she loves him. And he knows what it is like to not feel that love returned, so he tries.
He tries to be a good mate to her. Her name is Amaya, and she is expecting their first child. They only mated once. He never touched her since. Because as he had climaxed, Kagome's name had spilled from his silken lips--not hers. The look on her face broke his heart.
He makes his way back to his home. The beautiful ivory castle sitting on the hill surrounded by the fading light of sun. He sighs, and shakes his head. No, this place is not a home. She is his home. Even in the wilderness as long as he is with her, he is home.
He sighs, turning towards the setting sun. He is dying. He no longer has the will to go on. He knows that the western lands will be in the capable hands of his mate and their unborn son. Slowly he turns with a smile as the sun goes down. He thinks, maybe next time. In his next life he will find her again, and they will be together then.
Maybe...
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Authors note: Just in case anyone was confused this was a Kagome Sesshomaru story even if it didn't seem like it. I know even though they were never actually together he wished they were, so I think that counts. I know it was sad but it shows a different side of the Kagome Sess relationship. Anyway please review!!! Even if you think it sucks. Tell me the truth. I really want to know. Oh and I do not own 'Inuyasha'